Cognitive Distortions: Notice Them To Avoid Them
It is human nature to perceive the world around us through the prism of one's own experience. However, our experience can sometimes play a cruel trick on us.
Therefore, it is useful to take a quick look at the most common cognitive distortions faced by absolutely everyone in the world.
1. "Should" or "Must" Statements
The idea of duty, which manifests itself in three spheres:
- Duty to oneself (manifested in notions that one owes something to someone)
- Duty to others (is shown in ideas of how others should treat the person, what they can and cannot do)
- Demand to the surrounding world (is shown in ideas about what the person owes to the weather, nature, the state, etc.)
Markers (If you find these words in your speech, it is a hint of the presence of irrational thinking): must, ought, oblige, have to, should, by all means, etc
Example: "My appearance should always be perfect."
Antidote: Use "I want to", "I'd like to", 'It might be better for me" instead of "I must":
"I would like to dress tastefully."
2. Catastrophization
Implies a hyperbolization of a negative characteristic of a situation or problem, thereby reflecting the notion that there is a catastrophic aspect to the world that lies outside the system of evaluation.
Also (from Wiki): Giving greater weight to the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or experiencing a situation as unbearable or impossible when it is just uncomfortable
Markers: nightmare, end of the world, disaster, unbearable, terrible, hopeless, no way out, etc.
Example: "If she breaks up with me, I won't be able to bear it, my life will be ruined."
Antidote: Rephrase in softer manner. "If she breaks up with me, I won't feel good about it, but it's definitely not the end of the world."
3. Predictions of a Negative Future
The tendency to believe in a high probability of negative developments, whether they were verbalized or presented only in mental terms.
Markers: but what if, certainly will, it won't, etc.
Example: "If I'll think about changing my job, my bosses will find out about it and fire me with a bad reference."
Antidote: Make decisions on the facts. Choose what to believe in the same way.
4. Overgeneralization
A tendency to draw categorical global conclusions from one or several loosely connected events. In other words, a person derives a single rule of life based on one or more events of his past. A certain action has failed once or several times, and now it seems that it will always be so.
Markers: no one, all, everything, nothing, nowhere, forever, all the time, etc.
Example: "I couldn't pass the math test with a perfect score, so I'll never make it."
Antidote: Add facts and truth to your statement:
"I could not pass the test with a maximum score, but no one promised me that it would be easy. It would probably help me if I practiced more and had patience."
5. Mindreading
A tendency to prescribe unspoken judgments, thoughts, and opinions to people.
Example: "He didn't say hello to me. Apparently he thought he was better than me."
Antidote: Well. Do not make any assumptions on things the person didn't say. :)
Also, it is quite helpful to add a little bit of truth:
"He didn't say hello to me. I didn't like that and I feel confused now. However, he didn't promise me to say "Hello" everytime he sees me. By the way, I can ask him about that incident any time I want."
6. Labeling and Mislabeling
The tendency to evaluate a person's personality as a whole, rather than individual qualities, actions, etc. In other words, attributing a person's actions to their character instead of to an attribute.
Example: "His behaviour is quite strange. All musicians are weirdos."
Antidote: Dispute your beliefs and make a new assumption, like "What if not all musicians are weirdos? What would it mean?"
7. Personalization and Blaming
Personalization is assigning personal blame disproportionate to the level of control a person realistically has in a given situation.
Markers: this is my fault, this is all his fault, guilt, etc.
Example of Personalization: "He doesn't love me, because I'm not clever enough."
Example of Blaming: Placing blame for marital problems entirely on one's spouse.
Antidote: It is necessary to ask yourself from time to time: "Where does my area of responsibility end?" or "Where is my area of responsibility?". Also, replace the word "fault/guilt" with "responsibility".
8. Filtering
Filtering distortions occur when an individual dwells only on the negative details of a situation and filters out the positive aspects.
Example: Andy gets mostly compliments and positive feedback about a presentation he has done at work, but he also has received a small piece of criticism. For several days following his presentation, Andy dwells on this one negative reaction, forgetting all of the positive reactions that he had also been given.
Antidote: Cost-Benefit Analysis: Link To Wikipedia. As powerful a tool as it is simple.
Of course, these are not all of the cognitive distortions that are peculiar to humans. However, even with this set of knowledge you can make your life much easier.