00:40

00:40. Bollywood Star snores abruptly and rolls over to the side. I took 15 photos of the night ceiling with my iPhone. It seems that I’ve exceeded my artistic capabilities. My hands are wrapped in splints (carpal tunnel) and therefore I google with just my fingertips - "Mania sleep advice"

For the last week and a half, I was tired. It’s not like I would get tired quickly. It’s that I woke up already tired. Yesterday I got “need-couch-stat” tired by cooking breakfast and washing the dishes. Even though my energy levels are as high as democracy in China, I am still in a good mood and the only thing that poisons my life is episodes of delusions and paranoia. Other than that I am a very sleepy crazy person. Sleepy crazy folks are very safe. We can hardly hurt ourselves or others unless we’re driving.

Today (or rather yesterday) was the first day when towards the evening I wasn’t falling off my feet. I was even able to formulate sentences of more than three words. I was happily looking forward to tomorrow (or rather today), I thought maybe the lack of energy is coming to an end.

Well, it seems my brain respects our diagnosis far more than I thought. Bipolar disorder means bipolar disorder. Is the depressive episode over? Aweeeesome! What do we have next? “M” - para-pa-para-pam-pam - “A” ... You get my point. If not - this joke is based on a Russian version of Pinocchio.

It’s probably too early to declare a manic episode started. But when you’re being a good girl and taking your pills on time and yet you are still awake even though you should be snoozing away for at least 3 hours by now… Well, let’s just say I’m suspicious.

Google advised me to set up a daily routine, and if this does not work and I still do not fall asleep within 15 minutes, then I need to get up and do something.

A sad and unfortunately energetic sigh is the only way I can end this note.