Irritating shit

Irritating shit. Words that ideally define my attitude to questionnaires from a psychiatric clinic. They send me a new one every week. The questions though are the same:

“I want to self-harm”
I really wanted to
I wanted to, but not so much
I kinda want to but also don’t want to at the same time
I mostly don’t want to
I don’t want to at all

“I don't sleep very well at night”
Totally true
Not that true not very much
I sleep like a baby

“I have physically abused people lately”
Yes I did
Just a little bit
Nope

/I’m very curious to know if anyone has ever honestly replied “yes” to this question./

“On a scale of 0 to 100, how satisfied are you with your life?”

And so on and so forth. About 70 questions. I’m so sick of filling them out. No, I understand, they form a graph. The psychologist looks at the graph and big data tells them whether it's time to send me to a room with green walls and anti-hanging doorknobs.

The process of click on those "very" - "not very", "agree" - "almost agree" is truly infuriating. I do not have enough patience for this. Moreover, the fucking questions are tricky. They switch from “I do” to “I don’t”. So you gotta be extra careful answering. Otherwise, you might click “yes” instead of “no” under the question about whether you have any suicidal plans. plans for suicide. The psychologist will get nervous, start calling you and all because you clicked on the wrong thing.

They send the link to the questionnaire through SMS. Now, every time I receive a text message, I procrastinate opening it. It's good that no one except the psychiatric clinic and a hair salon sends me SMS’s. If they’ve used a different messenger, then my hatred towards questionnaires might have significantly affected my work productivity.