She/he is a very good person, but it is impossible to work with

Five Wrong Ways to Use Empathy: ⠀

1. Empathy as an excuse for inaction. Compassion for others is energy consuming. After it, we feel tired, exhausted, laid out. The temptation is great to decide: well, I have done my part of the managerial work, I have shared my experiences with the person. Now he/she has to respond to me with enthusiasm, motivation, loyalty, etc. Unfortunately, this does not work that way: your sympathy is only part of the matter, and then the actual management decision must be taken. Empathy alone in management is equal to inaction. ⠀

2. Empathy as a personal pedestal. Sympathy is surprisingly connected with egoism: it seems that you are in the center of the world and all human sorrows, pains and fears flock to you, like moths to the world. Thinking about others, we literally dwell on ourselves and our own feelings. In this state, it is very difficult to help anyone at all, even yourself. ⠀

3. Empathy as inflation of emotions to the point of absurdity. The anterior cingulate cortex is also actively involved in experiencing depression: if it is constantly irritated, over time the pain becomes an unpleasant painful background. The world around you seems to be a continuous pain, there are so few of you, and there are so many irritants ... and you are at risk of burnout. Self-care is part of any effective leadership strategy.

4. Empathy as a feeling for the elite. Almost none of us is capable of having equal sympathy for all living things. We choose who to tune in to and with whom to share grief and sadness - and usually someone gets more empathy, and someone less. The most meaningful leader cannot encompass all employees with her/his inclusiveness and sincere sympathy: she/he will choose those who, for some reason, are closer to her/him. Everyone else runs the risk of not receiving the attention they deserve, leading to alienation, conflict and loss of contact. ⠀

5. Empathy as a way to make decisions. Giving a life-changing client to a weak manager to boost self-esteem is not a business decision. Risking deadlines and quality for the sake of team mood is weird. At some point, the leader must decide in favor of the team and the business, and this decision will ultimately help the weak manager, the anxious designer, and the entire team.