Книга 9. “Who will cry when you die”. Robin Sharma.
Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice.
One of the lessons i have learned in my own life is that if you don't act on life, life has a habit of acting on you. The days slip into weeks, the weeks slip into months and the months slip into years.
We are all here for some unique purpose.
2. Everyday be kind to a stranger
Everyone who enters your life has a lesson to teach and a story to tell.
Paying the toll for the person in the car behind you, offering your seat on the subway and being the first to say hello are great places to start.
Ask yourself a question: "Is there a wiser, positive way of looking at the seemingly negative situation?"
We live on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. Given that, are your troubles really that big?
Our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity
By being stricter with yourself, you will begin to live life more deliberately on your own terms rather than simply reacting to life the way a leaf floating in a stream drifts according to the flow of the current on a particular day.
Effective, fulfilled people do not spend their time doing what is most convenient and comfortable.
The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do.
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the things you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not
Maintaining a daily journal is one of the best personal growth initiatives you will ever take.
Writing down your daily experience along with the lessons you have drawn from them will make you wiser.
Journal help you develop self-awareness and make fewer mistakes. It will help you clarify your intentions so that you remain focused on the things that truly count.
Personal Journal will give you a private place to flex your imagination and define your dreams.
Write there 1. what you have learned 2. what and why happens in your life
6. Develop an honesty philosophy
We usually tell a friend we will call her next week for lunch knowing full well we do not have the time to do that.
The real problem is that when you don't keep your word, you lose credibility. When you lose credibility, you break the bonds of trust.
Every time you do not tell the truth, you feed the habit of being untruthful.
Be a person of your word rather than being "all talk and no action"
Every second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions.
If you have suffered more than your fair share of difficulties in life, perhaps you are being prepared to serve some greater purpose that will require you to be equipped with the wisdom you have acquired through your trials. Use these life lessons to fuel your future growth. Remember, happy people have often experienced as much adversity as those who are unhappy.
I would rather have the bravery to try something and then fail than never to have tried it at all. I would much prefer spending the rest of my days expanding my human frontiers and trying to make the seemingly impossible probable than live a life of comfort, security and mediocrity.
The way you begin your day determines the way you will live your day.
We need to go to a place where we can reconnect to our life's mission, renew our selves and refocus on the things that matter most.
Sit about 15 minutes in silent contemplation, focusing on all the good things in my life and envisioning the day
It is concentration on the essentials.
Concentrate on the things they do best and on those high-impact activities that will advance their life-work.
Jazz great Armstrong did not spend his time selling tickets to his shows and setting up chairs for the audience. He concentrated on his point of brilliance: playing the trumpet.
Take one day to revitalize yourself and nourish your soul.
All you need are a few hours alone, perhaps on a quiet Sunday morning, when you can spend time doing the things you love to do the most.
Repeat some mantras: 1. "I am so grateful that i am a serene and tranquil person" 2. "I am delighted that i am full of confidence and boundless courage" 3. "I am happy that money and opportunities are flowing into my life"
Try to say your personal phrase at least two hundred times a day for at least 4 weeks
• Too many people are spending the best years of their lives stuck in a state of constant worry. They worry about their jobs, the bills, the environment and their kids.
• And yet we all know deep in our hearts that most of the things we worry about never happen. It’s like that great saying of Mark Twain’s, “I’ve had a lot of trouble in my life, some of which actually happened.
• One of the simple strategies I learned to conquer the worry habit was to schedule specific times to worry
– what I now call “worry breaks.” If we are facing a difficulty, it is easy to spend all our waking hours focusing on it. Instead, I recommend that you schedule fixed times to worry, say, thirty minutes every evening. During this worry session, you may wallow in your problems and brood over your difficulties. But after that period ends, you must train yourself to leave your troubles behind and do something more productive. If during other times of the day you feel the need to worry, jot down what you want to worry about in a notebook which you can then bring to your next worry break. This simple but powerful technique will help you gradually reduce the amount of time you spend worrying and eventually serve to eliminate this habit forever.
• Rather than eating the bread while as most adults do, Colby took a different, far more creative approach.He began to scoop out the warm, soft part of the bread and left the crust intact. In other words, he had the wisdom to focus on the best part of the bread and leave the rest.
• Children come to us more highly evolved than adults to teach us the lessons we need to learn.” And on that fine day, my little boy reminded me that as so – called grown – ups, we spend too much time focusing on the “crust of life” rather than on all the good things that flow in and out of our days. We focus on our challenges at work, the pile of bills we have to pay and the lack of time to do all those things we need to do. But our thoughts do form our world and what we think about does grow in our lives. What we focus on will determine our destiny and so we must start focusing on the good stuff.
14.«Remember, Genius Is 99 Percent Inspiration»
• All of the great geniuses of the world were inspired and driven by their desire to enrich the lives of others. When you study their lives, you will discover that this desire became almost an obsession for most of them. It consumed them and occupied every cell of their minds.
How inspired are you in your own life? Do you jump out of bed on Monday mornings or do you simply lie there with a sense of emptiness flooding through your body?
• You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world.
15. Mens sana in corpora sano
- which is Latin for “in a sound body rests a sound mind.”
• Regular exercise will not only improve your health, it will help you think more clearly, boost creativity and manage the relentless stress.
• And remember: “Those who don’t make time for exercise must eventually make time for illness."
• All of the great wisdom traditions of the world have arrived at the same conclusion: to reconnect with who you really are as a person and to come to know the glory that rests within you, you must find the time to be silent on a regular basis. Experiencing solitude, for even a few minutes a day, will keep you centered on your highest life priorities and help you avoid the neglect that pervades the lives of so many of us.
• The importance of silence makes me think about the story of an old lighthouse keeper. The man had only a limited amount of oil to keep his beacon lit so that passing ships could avoid the rocky shores. One night, a man who lived close by needed to borrow some of this precious commodity to light his home, so the lighthouse keeper gave him some of his own. Another night, a traveler begged for some oil to light his lamp so he could keep on travelling. The lighthouse keeper also complied with this request and gave him the amount he needed. The next night, the lighthouse keeper was awakened by a mother banging on his door. She prayed for some oil so that she could illuminate her home and feed her family. Again he agreed. Soon all his oil was gone and his beacon went out. Many ships ran aground and many lives were lost because the lighthouse keeper forgot to focus on his priority. He neglected his primary duty and paid a high price.
17. Think About Your Ideal Neighborhood.
• One of the things I have done along my quest for self – knowledge is to make a list of all the people I wished lived next door to me. These are men and women from both the past and present who I would love to be able to drop in on for a quick cup of tea every once in a while and share a laugh with from time to time. The every act of listening your “ideal neighbors” will connect you to many of the values and traits you respect the most in people and, in doing so, help you to discover about yourself as a person.
The first step to realizing your life vision is defining it. And the first step to becoming the person you want to be is identifying the traits of the person you want to be.
There is something very special about the first few hours in the morning. Time seems to slow down and a deep sense of peace fills the air.
Here are four tips to help you sleep more deeply, and as a result to get up early:
• Don’t rehearse the activities of your day while you are lying in bed trying to get to sleep.
• Don’t eat after 8 P.M. (If you have to eat something, have soup).
• Don’t watch the news before you go to sleep.
19. See your troubles as blessings
• I often wonder why we, as human beings, spend so much of our lives focusing on the negative aspects of our most difficult experiences rather than seeing them for what they truly are: our greatest teachers.
Once and for all, come to realize that pain is a teacher and failure is the highway to success.
• Our character is shaped, not through life’s easiest experiences, but during life’s toughest ones. It is during life’s most trying times that we discover who we really are and the fullness of the strength that lies within us.
• According to one study, the average four – year – old laughs three hundred times a day while the average adult laughs about fifteen times a day. With all the obligations, stresses and activities that till our days, we have forgotten how to laugh. Daily laughter has been shown to elevate our moods, promote creativity and give us more energy.
• As William James, the father of modern psychology, observed, “We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh."
• I will make you this promise: on your deathbed, in the twilight of your life, it will not be all the risks you took that you will regret the most. Rather, what will fill your heart with the greatest amount of regret and sadness will be all those risks that you did not take, all those opportunities you did not seize and all those fears you did not face.
Remember that on the other side of fear lies freedom.
• To live your life to the fullest, start taking more risks and doing the things you fear. Get good at being uncomfortable and stop walking the path of least resistance.
Sure, there is a greater chance you will stub your toes when you walk the road less traveled, but that is the only way you can get anywhere.
You can choose to spend the rest of your days sitting on the shore of life in complete safety or you can take some chances, dive deep into the water and discover the pearls that lie waiting for the person of true courage.
• We all travel different roads to our ultimate destinations. For some of us, the path is rockier than for others. But no one reaches the end without facing some form of adversity. So rather fight it, why not accept it as the way of life?
• A good movie can restore your perspective, reconnect you to the things you value most and keep your enthusiastic about all the things in your life. And as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
• When you send your money out, remember always to bless it. Ask it to bless everybody that it touches, and command it to go out and feed the hungry and clothe the naked, and command it to come back to you a million – fold. Don’t pass over this lightly.
• I keep on my desk to remind me that "the person who tries to do everything ultimately achieves nothing"
• The sage Confucius put it this way, “The person who chases two rabbits catches neither»
• The real secret to getting things done is knowing what things need to be left undone
• The things that are easy to do are also the things that are easy not to do
• Everyone loves getting mail – it’s a fact of human nature. We all have a deep – seated need to feel important. So that, try to thank people, to write appreciating mails.
Sure, it takes time. Sure, there might be pressing things on agenda. But few acts have the power to build and strengthen relationships like a heart – felt letter of thanks. It shows you care.
28. Always carry a book with you
• «According to U.S. News & World Report, over the course of your lifetime, you will spend eight months opening junk mail, two years unsuccessfully returning phone calls and five years standing in line. Given this startling fact, one of the simplest yet smartest time management strategies you can follow is to never go anywhere without a book under your arm. While others waiting in line are complaining, you will be growing and feeding your mind a rich diet of ideas found in great books.
• “So long as you live, keep learning how to live,” noted the Roman philosopher Seneca
• «The greatest leaders in this new economy will be the greatest thinkers.»
• And the person you will be five years from now will come down to two primary influences: the people you associate with and the books you read.
• When I play tennis with someone better than I am, something almost magical happens to my game.
Reading good books creates much the same phenomenon. When you expose your mind to the thoughts of the greatest people who have walked this planet before you, your game improves, the depth of your thinking expands and you rise to a whole new level of wisdom.
To practice being more loving, create a love account. Each day, make a few deposits in this very special reserve by doing something small to add joy to the life of someone around you. Buying your partner fresh cut flowers for no reason at all, sending your best friend a copy of your favorite book or taking the time to tell your children in no uncertain terms how you feel about them are all good places to start.
• If there is one thing that I have learned in life, it is that the little things are the big things. Those tiny, daily deposits into the love account will give you far more happiness than any amount of money in your bank account.
30. Get behind people’s eyeballs
•In the days we live in, too many people believe that listening involves nothing more than waiting for the other person to stop talking. And to make matters worse, while that person is speaking, we are all too often using that time to formulate our own response, rather than empathising with the point being made.
• Taking the time to truly understand another’s point of view shows that you value what he has to say and care about him as a person. When you start “getting behind the eyeballs” of the person who is speaking and try to see the world from his perspective, you will connect with him deeply and build high – trust relationships that last.
• We have two ears and one mouth for a reason: to listen twice as much as we speak
• "A problem well stated is a problem half solved,” said Charles Kettering.
There is something very special that happens when you take out a piece of paper and list every single one of your problems on it. It is very much like the peaceful feeling you get after telling your best friend about something that has been troubling you for weeks. A weight somehow falls from your shoulders. You feel lighter, calmer and freer.
• Winston Churchill once said, “It helps to write down half a dozen things which are worrying me. Two of them, say, disappear; about two, nothing can be done, so it’s no use worrying; and two perhaps can be settled.»
32. Practice the Action habit
• The real problem is that we don’t do what we know. I have heard many motivational speakers say, “Knowledge is power.” I disagree. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is only potential power. It transforms itself into actual power the moment you decisively act on it.
33. See your children as gifts
• It is easy to promise yourself you will spend more time with your kids “when things slow down at work” or “when I get that big promotion” or "next year when I get a little more time.”
But if you don’t act on life, life has a habit of acting on you. The weeks slip into months, the months slip into years and before you know it, that little child is now an adult with a family of her own. The greatest gift you can give to your children is the gift of your time.
34. Enjoy the path, not just reward.
• The real value of setting and achieving goals lies not in the reward you receive but in the person you become as a result of reaching your goals.
35. Becoming aware of weakness was the first step to eliminating it.
• You will never be able to eliminate a weakness you don’t even know about. The first step to eliminate a negative habit is to become aware of it. Once you develop an awareness about the behavior you are trying to change.
I have summary of this book too.
https://teletype.in/@ilm_istab_book/Lps1qhsNDVI
• Time is life’s great leveler. We all have the same allotment of twenty – four hours in a day. What separates the people who create great lives from others is how they use these hours.
• "Anyone can become angry – that’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy,” taught Aristotle
• Words are like arrows: once released, they are impossible to retrieve. So choose yours with care.
• An excellent way to control your temper is simply to count to 100 before you respond to someone who has irritated you
39. Recruit a board of directors
• To succeed in these times of breakneck change, companies will often recruit a board of directors to help them make more effective decisions and lead them in the right direction during stormy times. By consulting men and women of wisdom these organizations reduce the number of mistakes they make, boost corporate effectiveness and increase their credibility in the marketplace.
You also can try this by simply asking people of wisdom to give you advice.
• On most days, our minds are in ten different places at any one time. Rather than enjoying the walk to work, we wonder what the boss will say to us when we get to the office or what we will have for lunch or how our children will do at school today. Our minds are, as they say in the East, like unchained monkeys, rushing from place to place without any pause for peace.
• One of the best ways to cure your monkey mind is through a technique I call “Focused Reading.”
Every time your mind wanders from the page into a daydream or a worry, make a check mark in the right hand margin of the page. This simple act will increase your awareness of how poorly you concentrate «and, since awareness is the first step to change, help you to build the skills you need for a clearer, quieter mind.
• "He who asks may be a fool for five minutes. He who doesn’t is a fool for a lifetime,” goes the wise Chinese Proverb
• «Over the coming weeks, flex your “asking muscles” by asking for a better table at your favorite restaurant, for a free second scoop at your local ice cream shop or for a complimentary upgrade on your next airline flight.
Remember, the person who asks for what he wants at least has a chance of getting what he wants. The person who does not ask has no chance.
Somerset Maugham: “It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
42. Look for the higher meaning of Your Work
«The job today is not just to make money, it’s to make meaning.”
In the old days, most of us were content to have a job that simply paid the bills. But now, we crave so much more in our work. We want fulfillment, creative challenge, growth, joy and a sense that we are living for something more than ourselves.
One of the best ways to find the higher meaning in the work you do is to use the technique of creative questioning to become aware of the impact your work has on the world around you. Ask yourself questions like, Who ultimately benefits from the products and services my company offers? Or What difference do my services my company offers? or What difference do my daily efforts make?
43. Build a Library of Heroic Books
«While almost any reading will improve your mind, in a world where there is too much to do, you must be selective in the books you read. And so, I suggest you spend much of your time reading “The Heroic Books” – those books that contain “the noblest recorded thoughts of man»
Here are some of the “heroic” books that helped me change my own life and gave me the wisdom and inspiration to live more deliberately⬇️
• Ashley Montagu wrote that “The deepest personal defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become."
• In all my work with employees of organisations across North America, I see the same thing: too many people spend more time focusing on their weakness rather than developing their strengths. By concentrating on what they don’t have, they neglect the talents they do have. The greatest people who have gone before us all had a simple strategy that ensured their success: they knew themselves
• We live in an age of seemingly limitless information. The weekday edition of the New York Times contains more information than the average person was exposed to during an entire lifetime in seventeenth – century England.
• After a busy week the simple act of sitting in a wooded park and listening to the wind move through the leaves fills me with a sense of quite and peace. My priorities become clearer, my obligations seem less pressing and my mind grows still. Communing with nature is also an excellent way to unlock your creativity and generate new ideas.
• If you commute to the office for thirty minutes each way every day, after one year you will have spent the equivalent of six weeks of eight – hour days in your car. Given this, can you really afford to spend all your time staring out the window and daydreaming while the negative news blares from the car radio?
So many of the highly successful and enlightened people I know share a common habit: they listen to audiocassettes in their cars. In doing so, they transform their driving time into learning time and make their automobiles moving universities.
Negative news sells. Try to become more selective in the news you expose your mind to.
One of the best ways to wean yourself from the “news addiction” that so many of us suffer from is to go on a seven – days news fast. Vow not to read even one negative story in the newspaper or watch even one negative news report on television for the next week.
You will notice two things. First, you will not really miss out on much information. You will still hear about the most important stories of the day from the conversations that circulate around your office and through your encounters at home. Second, you will feel much more peaceful and serene. As well, you will find that the seven – day news fast offers yet another benefit: more time to do the things that will truly improve the quality of your life.
48. Get serious about setting goals
Goals clarify our desires and, in doing so, help us to focus on only those activities that will lead us to what we want.
Setting clearly defined goals provides you with a frame – work for smarter choices. If you know precisely where you are going, it becomes far easier to select those activities that will get you there. Writing down your goals clarifies your intentions (and the first step to realizing your vision is defining it)
It takes about 21 days to develop a new habit. Yet most people give up on creating a positive life change after only the first few days when they experience the stress and pain that is always associated with replacing old behaviors with new ones. New habits are much like a new pair of shoes: for the first few days, they will feel uncomfortable. But if you break them in for about three weeks, they will fit a second skin.
As human beings, we are genetically programmed to resist change and maintain a state of equilibrium(the condition known as homeostasis)
But just as a rocket uses more fuel during the first few minutes after lift – off than it does over the days that follow when it will cover more than half a million miles, once you get past those first 21 days you will find that staying on course with a new habit will be far easier than you imagined.
John Dryden observed, “We first make our habits and then our habits make us."
Forgiveness is a great act of spirit and personal courage. It is also one of the best ways to elevate the quality of your life.
I have discovered that every minute you devote to thinking about someone who has wronged you is a minute you have stolen from a much worthier pursuit: attracting those people who will help you.
The foods you consume affects your moods as well as the clarity of your thinking.
If you owned an expensive Formula One race car, you wouldn’t think of fueling it with anything less than premium – grade gas. Anything else would reduce its performance. So why would you put anything less than the best foods into your body, which is an even more valuable performance vehicle? Eating the wrong foods, in large quantities, will reduce your energy level, affect your health and prevent your mind from serving you to its fullest capacity.
«After a speech I gave to a large gathering in San Francisco, an elderly woman slowly walked up to me and held my hand, as people in their golden years often do. Looking straight into my eyes she said, “Mr.Sharma, I’ve listened to your insights for living a better life for the past hour and I agree with everything you’ve said. For many years I have understood that our surroundings shape our moods, our thoughts and our dreams.
And so, in every room of my little house, I have a bouquet of freshly cut flowers. I am not a wealthy woman.
But this is one luxury I would never do without.” This woman knew that a first – class environment is an investment, not an expense.»
You will never go wrong by spending time enjoying nature. There is something particularly special about walking in the woods. Your steps will feel lighter, a deep sense of inner quiet will flood your entire body and your creativity
One of the most effective ways to improve your personal and professional effectiveness and to rise to a new level of excellence is to find a mentor to coach you. Success in business and in life is a “connect the dots.” Process.
All you need to do is find out the habits, disciplines and strategies that others have used to obtain their results and connect the dots by duplicating their actions. Once you follow the steps they have taken, in the order they have taken them in, you are bound to get the same results. A personal coach can illuminate your path, encourage you when times get tough and shave years off your learning curve.
While you cannot go on a major vacation every week, you certainly can go on a minor one. A mini – vacation begins with closing the door of your office, holding all calls and relaxing in your chair. Then close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths. Once you feel deeply at peace, begin to imagine you are at your favorite vacation spot. Vividly see the colors, hear the sounds and feel the emotions that this special place evokes. After only a few minutes of this mental escape, you will be rejuvenated, ready for the rest of the day ahead
• Persian proverb “I wept because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet.”
• It is so easy to magnify our problems and lose sight of the many blessings we all have to be so very grateful for. Giving the gift of your time by volunteering to serve those who have less than you is an excellent way to remind yourself of the abundance that exists in your life.
• Seeing what others don’t have keeps me awake to all the good things I do have. It prevents me from taking things for granted and, even more importantly, helps me make a difference in the lives of people who really need me.
57. Find your Six Degrees of separation
I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six people. Six degrees of separation. Between us and everybody else on this planet. The president of the United States.
Six degrees of separation between me and everyone else on this planet. But to find the right six people.
Ousia was right. It is profound to think that you and I are separated from all the other people living on this planet by at most six people. She was also right in nothing the real challenge: finding the right six people to connect you to the person you need to know.»
Someone once said to me that the first fifty years of life are dedicated to building one’s legitimacy while the last fifty are devoted to building one’s legacy.
Greatness comes from beginning something that does not end with you.
My father often said that the person with three great friends is a rich person indeed
When I first saw The Artist’s Way on the shelf of my favorite bookstore years ago when I was still practicing law, I did not pick it up. At that time, I believed it was only for “artists” and that I would, therefore not benefit from it.
Over time, however, I realized that every single one of us should use this creativity on a daily basis to get the most from life.
The French mathematician Blaise Pascal wrote, “All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone
If you lack the mental focus to stay with one activity for any length of time, you will never be able to achieve your goals, build your dreams or enjoy life’s process
Death ought to be right there before the eyes of those who are young just as much as before the eyes of those who are very old. Every day, therefore, should be regulated as if it were the one that completes our life.
64. Stop complaining and start living
Stop complaining about having no time for yourself and get up an hour earlier.
If you sleep seven hours a night and work eight hours every day, you still have more than sixty – three hours of free time every week to do all the things you want to do. This amount to 252 hours every month and 3,024 hours every single year to spend on life’s pursuits.
If you are not as fulfilled or as happy or as prosperous or as peaceful as you know you could be, stop blaming your parents or the economy or your boss and take full responsibility for your circumstances
• «In the new economy you now find yourself in, you will be compensated not by how hard you work but by how much value you add to the world around you.»
• This is why a brain surgeon is paid so much more than a McDonald’s employee. Is the brain surgeon a better person? Not necessarily. Is the brain surgeon smarter? Who knows? But one thing is certain: the brain surgeon has accumulated far more specialized knowledge and specific know – how than the McDonald’s employee. There are far fewer people who can do what the brain surgeon does and, as a result, the brain surgeon is perceived as far more valuable to the marketplace. This is why the brain surgeon is paid over ten times more than the person who flips burgers. Money simply becomes a symbol for how much value each person has added to the world at large
• We need to develop the skills of excellent parents. We cannot just hope that the way we are raising our kids is the right way and pray that we will be lucky enough that they become thoughtful, caring and wise adults. We must take the initiative to improve our parenting abilities by attending seminars, reading books and listening to audiocassettes by the leading thinkers in this field
To live a richer, more rewarding life, it is essential that you run your own race.
When you study the lives of the world’s most enlightened and effective people, you will see that they did not care about what other people thought of them.
Time and time again, I have witnessed high – functioning, top – performing men and women carrying a little gold card in their wallets that they can review during the quieter moments of their day. The card simply lists their top life goals along with clear deadlines for achieving them. The discipline or reconnecting to your highest priorities, whether they are personal, professional or spiritual, is a smart one.
Just as you are not your thoughts, you are not your moods. You are the creator of the moods your experience, moods that you can change in a single instant. If you choose to do so, you can feel peace in a moment of stress, joy in a time of sadness and energy during a time of fatigue.
No one gets to take his possessions with him when he dies. I would rather spend my days doing things that will leave me happy memories than collecting possessions.
«Dale Carnegie wrote, “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.»
It is easy to fall into the habit of condemning others, even those we love most. We criticize the way someone eats or the manner in which she speaks. We focus on the most minute details and find fault with the smallest of issues. But what we focus on grows. And if we keep focusing on a small weakness in someone, it will continue to grow in our minds until we perceive it to be a big problem in that person.
Stop blaming and condemning. Accept complete responsibility for the way things are and resolve to work and changing yourself before seeking to change others
A great life is nothing more than a series of great, well – lived days strung together like a beautiful necklace of pearls.
Many people think that it takes months and years to change your life. Respectfully, I disagree. You change your life the second you make a decision from the depths of your heart to be a better, more dedicated human being.
What takes the months and years are the efforts you must apply to maintain that decision
• "We see the world, not as it is but as we are"
I recently read in a newspaper that fully 10 percent of the population is betting they will win the lottery to finance their retirement.
Too many people are leaving the quality of their futures to chance rather than to choice.
It reminds me of the habit my brother had as a kid. When he saw that a glass was about to fall off a counter, rather than rushing to save it from falling, he would cover his ears wit his hands so he could not hear it smash
• Practicing humility shows that you respect others and reminds us that there is so much for us yet to learn. It sends a signal to those around you that you are open to receiving the gift of their knowledge and listening to what they have to say
78. Do not finish every book you start
As Fracis bacon said, “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few books to be read wholly, and with diligence and attraction.
79. Do not be so hard yourself
Once and for all stop being so hard on yourself. You are a human being and human beings have been designed to make mistakes.
As long as you don’t keep making the same errors and have the good judgment to let your past serve you, you will be on the right track. Accept them and move on.
An excellent way to raise to a higher level of enlightenment and personal wisdom is to make a list of the ten biggest mistakes you have made in your life. Then, write down the corresponding lessons you have learned from every mistake and the benefits that actually flowed into your life.
You will soon see that your life would not be as rich and colorful without the mistakes of your past. So be gentler to yourself and see life for what it really is: a path of self – discovery, personal growth and lifelong learning.
A strategy that you can apply today to improve your personal discipline is to keep a vow of silence for one hour a day over the next seven. Don’t speak at all during this silent time.
Within a matter of days, you will feel a sense of mastery and strength growing within you. Judge by the results: they will speak for themselves.
81. Do not pick up the phone every time it rings
The telephone is there for your convenience, not for the convenience of your callers. Yet, as soon as we hear the phone ring, we act as if we are firefighters rushing to a five – alarm fire. We run to pick it up as if our lives depended on the call being answered at once. I have seen people interrupt quiet family dinners, dedicated reading times and meditation periods to answer those seemingly urgent phone calls, many of which turn out to be ones that could have been taken later.
82.Remember That Recreation Must Involve Re - Creation
After a tiring day at work, it is so easy to curl up on the couch and spend the next three or four hours watching television. The irony is that, if you are like most people, you actually feel more fatigued after watching too much TV than you felt when you first sat down.
Recreation is tremendously important to a balanced life. But recreation must serve to re – create you.
Recreation must restore you and bring you back to life. Real recreation will fill you with a renewed sense of optimism and energy.
To maintain a healthy level of optimism and passion for life, you must keep on setting higher and higher goals.
On attaining one goal, whether it is a career goal or a personal one, it is essential that you quickly set the next one. I call the process of setting progressively bigger, more engaging goals “choosing worthy opponents.”
When I was practicing law, I spent much of my time in courtrooms, representing the interests of my clients. Over the years that I argued these causes, I always found I performed best when I appeared against my toughest opponents. Those bright, highly prepared and exceptionally focused litigators forced me to get to the core issue before the judge and deliver my argument succinctly and effectively.
When someone asked Thomas Edison why, during his last years when he was almost totally deaf, he did not invent a hearing aid, he replied, “How much have you heard in the last twenty – four hours that you couldn’t do without?” He then added with a smile, “A man who has to shout can never tell a lie.”
But what I remember the most about his special man was his rare ability to thrive on only four hours of sleep. “Sleep is like a drug,” he explained. “Take too much at a time and it makes you dopey. You lose time, vitality and opportunities.” Most of us sleep far more than we need to.
«Just remember those times when everything in your life was working. You were thriving at the office, fulfilled in your relationships and growing in your inner life. You were overflowing with energy and passionate about every minute of your days. If you are like most people, you will also recall that during these times you could get by on less sleep. As a matter of fact, there was so much to be excited about that you did not want to waste time by oversleeping. Now reflect on those times of your life when things were not going so well. Your job was exhausting, the people in your life were driving you crazy and you had no time for yourself. During these times, you probably slept longer than usual. Perhaps you slept until two o’clock in the afternoon on Saturday or Sunday (we often use sleep as an escape from reality during difficult times). But how did you feel when you finally woke up? Groggy, uninspired and tired.
One of the many great family traditions my wonderful mother created fro us when I was growing up was having a family meal every day. No matter what activities we had on the go, my father, my brother and I were duty-«bound to come home for a dinner, where we could all reconnect and share our stories about the day that was drawing to a close.
Research has shown that the way you act influences the thoughts you think. If you look to the ground, slouch over and generally model yourself physically after a depressed person, you will eventually start to feel depressed. If, on the other hand, you smile and laugh and stand upright with your head held high, you will soon find that you feel much better, even though you may not have been in a great mood to begin with.
Using this information, you can start to “fake it till you make it.” In other words, you can pretend to be the kind of person you wish to be. By consistently acting as a highly enthusiastic person might or as a truly confident person would, you will eventually take on these personal attributes.
87. Take a Public Speaking Course
Two things can dramatically reduce your fear of public speaking (as well as any other fear for that matter): preparation and practice. By taking a public speaking course that will prepare you for speaking before groups and offer you a regular forum to practice in front of a group, you will soon manage your fear and eventually master it.
88. Stop Thinking Tiny Thoughts
The British statesman Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” His words are profound. And his point of wisdom is clear: it is not what you are that is holding you back in life. It’s what you think you’re not. It is what is going on in your inner world that is preventing you from having all that you want. And the moment you fully understand this insight and set about riding your mind of all its limiting thoughts, you will see almost immediate improvements in your personal circumstances.
«Most people don’t really fail, they simply give up trying.»
89. Don’t Worry About Things You Can’t Change
One business executive who went through an exercise I use in my leadership coaching programs found that 54 percent of his worries related to things that would likely never happen; 26 percent were about past actions that could not be changed; 8 percent related to the opinions of people whose opinions really did not matter to him; 4 percent concerned personal health issues that he had since resolved; and only 6 percent concerned real issues worthy of his attention. By identifying and then letting go of the worries he could do nothing about or that were a complete waste of his energy, this man eliminated 94 percent of the problems that had plagued him.
First, he advises, a walk «On a recent rainy day, I pulled out the book and flipped through the different chapters, stopping at the one entitled “How to Take a Walk.” In it, author Alan Devoe shares his insights on how one can get the best out of walking. First, he advises, a walk should never have a specific purpose. Rather than having a destination, you should simply immerse yourself in the beauty of the walk itself. Second, you must never take your worries with you on the walk. Leave them at home, for if you don’t, they will become even more deeply rooted in your mind by the end of the walk. And finally, be fully aware. Train yourself to pay complete attention to the sights, sounds and smells. Study the shape of the leaves on the trees. Observe the beauty of the clouds and the fragrance of the flowers.
One of the most wonderful things about time is the fact that you cannot waste it in advance. No matter how much time you have squandered in the past, the next hour that comes your way will be perfect, unspoiled and ready for you to make the very best of it. No matter what has happened to you in the past, your future is spotless.
Everyone needs a sanctuary or a “place of peace” where they can go to be quiet and still. This special place will serve as your oasis in a world of stress
«When you feel you need some time alone, visit this sanctuary and do some of those “inner development” activities that are so easy to neglect during the course of a busy day.
Close your eyes and visualize your ideal day. Read deeply from that book your mother always told you to read or from a book of wisdom. Or simply do nothing for thirty minutes and let the renewing power of solitude take hold.»
And as L.F. Phelan once said, “Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind. People grow old only by deserting their ideals and by outgrowing the consciousness of youth. Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul… You are as old as your doubt, your fear, your despair. The way to keep young is to keep your faith young. Keep your self – confidence young. Keep your hope young.
Every life is worth living. And given this, every life is worth recording
Take more pictures. Record the best times of your life. Collect photographs of the things that have made you smile or cry or appreciate the many blessings this world provides. Always carry a disposable camera in your car and two in your luggage when you travel. You might be surprised how good you will feel when you go through your albums years from now.
Make a list of twelve pursuits you know would bring a greater sense of passion and energy to your normally mundane routine and tackle one of them every month for the next year. Doing so is a highly effective way to reinvent the way you live.
96. Decompress before you go home
After a day of stress and pressure at the office, most of us arrive home cranky, tired and dispirited. We gave the best we had to our colleagues and customers and, sadly, we have nothing left for the people we love the most: our spouses, children and friends. Like gladiators who have just completed the battle of their lives, we wearily walk to our favorite easy chair and order family members to leave us alone until we regain our composure
Taking ten minutes to decompress before you walk through the front door of your home will help you to avoid making this scenario a part of your daily routine. Rather than leaving work, driving home and rushing into your house, I recommend that you spend a few minutes sitting alone in your car while parked in the driveway.
Use this time to relax and relax and reflect on what you would like to accomplish during the next few hours with your family. Remind yourself how much your partner and children need you and how many fun things you can do if you simply put your mind to it.
It is easy not to listen to what the Quakers call the “still, small voice within,” that inner guide that is your personal source of wisdom. It is often difficult to march to your own drum beat and listen to your instincts when the world around you pressures you to conform to its dictates.
Yet, to find the fulfillment and abundance you seek, you must listen to those hunches and feelings that come to you when you most need them
98. Collect Quotes That Inspire You
«A great quote contains a wealth of wisdom in a single line.»
One of the timeless secrets to a long, happy life is to love your work. The golden thread running through the lives of history’s most satisfied people is that they all loved what they did for a living
Albert Schweitzer said, “There is no higher religion than human service. To work for the common good is the greatest creed.” And the ancient Chinese believed that “a little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses.” One of the greatest lessons for a highly fulfilling life is to rise from a life spent chasing success to one dedicated to finding significance. And the best way to create significance is to ask yourself one simple question, “How may I serve?»
«Mahatma Gandhi understood the service ethic better than most. In one memorable story from his life, he was traveling across India by train. As he left the car he had been riding in, one of his shoes fell to a place on the tracks well beyond his reach. Rather than worrying about getting it back, he did something that startled his traveling companions: he removed his other shoe and threw it to where the first one rested. When asked why he did this, Gandhi smiled and replied: “Now the poor soul who finds the first one will have a pair he can wear.»
101. Live fully so you can die happy
We live in an age where we have conquered the highest of mountains but have yet to master our selves. We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, more possessions but less happiness, fuller minds but emptier lives