26 Reflections on Death
Over the past several years I’ve seen many people die, first with my mother passing away slowly, slowly, her health deteriorating gradually week by week, and then feeling better for a week or two, before energy once more failed and the decline began again, in the end deciding that enough was enough, but too soon, and what a struggle to give up the spirit.
I’ve seen a man go out fighting and screaming unable to come to terms with the event that was overtaking him, and another who closed his eyes so gently you waited for them to open again. I’ve seen a man starve himself to death in protest at an unloving world, and another starved to death by that very same unloving world.
Death is a tremendous thing, and if you can live in its presence unafraid, if you can get close to it, it has the power to give great vitality to life. When you know death, then you know every day is a gift and you give thanks for it. But what we do is separate ourselves from it – it’s always something happening to another, and we feel so secure in our lives that death has no importance. But that warmth and comfort is itself a living death, the very denial of life.
At some point all this – the rain dripping from the flowers, the sound of doves cooing – all of it will come to an end, and our lives will have a finality, and will have been written in eternity. And what will they look like, when all motives are uncovered, and we see the pettiness and lack of depth, the great gift refused. It’s because we don’t really know death that we don’t really know life, and not knowing life we waste it in entertainment, in being constantly occupied.
Life and death are two great mysteries that should inspire wonder in us, but somehow they don’t touch us, we’re unmoved by them. How is it possible to live without being concerned about the reason for life? We look to others to answer the question, and finding that even the philosophers can’t agree we give up the quest; but maybe we should give up not the quest, but the philosophers, those who are entrapped by their logic. To answer the problem of life and death is to put it aside, to make it safe, whereas to stand and just see this awesome thing without trying to control it or define it, is to stand in the presence of mystery and the presence of God, both of which are revealed when the mind has stopped seeking for an answer and is willing to see the truth.