Remains of the day

by Kazuo Ishiguro Chapter six - The Conference

The conference began on a rainy morning during the last week of March. On the first morning, I had to go constantly in and out of the drawing room, where all the serious, dark-jacketed gentlemen had gathered. I noticed that Monsieur Dupont did not speak very much. Once, while I was leaving the room in the middle of a speech by a German gentleman, Monsieur Dupont rose to his feet and followed me out.
'Butler,' he said, as soon as we were in the hall. 'I wonder if I could have the bandages on my feet changed. They are so uncomfortable that I can hardly listen to these gentlemen.'

I sent a messenger to ask Miss Kenton for assistance, then left Monsieur Dupont sitting in the games room. However, just as I was going to continue my duties, the first footman came down the stairs towards me. He informed me that my father had suddenly become very ill upstairs.

I hurried up to the first floor and, when I reached the landing, I saw something very strange. My father was at the far end of the corridor. He was kneeling on the floor with both hands on the trolley. He had bowed his head and seemed to be staring at something on the carpet. He did not move at all. Two housemaids were standing beside him, not knowing what to do. I went to my father, released his hands from their grip on the trolley and gently lowered him on to the floor. His eyes were closed, and his face was covered in sweat. I called for more help, and my father was eventually put in a wheelchair and taken up to his room.

When my father was in bed, I did not know what to do. I did not want to leave him but, on the other hand, I was too busy to stay. As I hesitated in the doorway, Miss Kenton appeared at my side and said:
'Mr Stevens, I'm not as busy as you are. If you like, I can look after your father. I'll bring Doctor Meredith up and tell you if he has anything important to say.'

'Thank you, Miss Kenton,' I said, and I went downstairs.

I returned to the drawing room and was immediately busy serving the guests tea and coffee. A short time later, as I was leaving the drawing room with an empty teapot in my hand, Miss Kenton stopped me and said:

'Mr Stevens, Doctor Meredith is leaving now.'

The doctor was putting on his hat and coat in the hall when I arrived. The teapot was still in my hand.

'Your father's not good,' he said. 'If he gets worse, call me again immediately.'

I thanked the doctor and showed him out.

***

The next day, the discussions in the drawing room were much more serious. Several of the guests seemed to be getting angry with Monsieur Dupont and were making bold accusations against him. The French gentleman did not reply. He just sat quietly in his armchair and stroked his beard. Whenever there was a break in the conference, Mr Lewis took Monsieur Dupont away to a quiet corner and whispered to him in private.
Meanwhile, my father's condition remained the same. When I had a spare moment, which was not often, I went up to his room and found him asleep. I did not, therefore, have a chance to talk to him until the second evening.

On that occasion, too, he was sleeping when I entered the room. But the housemaid stood up when she saw me and began to shake my father's shoulder.

'Foolish girl!' I said. 'What do you think you are doing?'

'Mr Stevens asked me to wake him if you returned, sir,' she replied, and shook my father's shoulder again.

My father opened his eyes, turned his head a little and looked at me.

'I hope Father is feeling better now,' I said.

He stared at me for a moment, then asked:
'Everything under control downstairs?'

'It is very busy in the kitchen at the moment, as Father can imagine.'

An impatient look crossed my father's face. 'But is everything under control?' he said again.

'Yes, I can assure Father that it is. I'm glad that Father is feeling better.'

Very slowly, he took his arms from under the bedclothes and stared tiredly at the backs of his hands. He continued to do this for some time.

'I'm glad Father is feeling so much better,' I repeated. 'Now really, I should get back. As I say, it is very busy in the kitchen at the moment.'

He went on looking at his hands for a moment. Then he said slowly:
'I hope I've been a good father to you.'

I laughed a little and said:
'I'm so glad you're feeling better now.'

'I'm proud of you. You're a good son. I hope I've been a good father to you. I suppose I haven't.'

'I'm afraid we're extremely busy now, but we can talk again in the morning.'

My father continued to look at his hands. He seemed to be slightly annoyed with them.

'I'm so glad you're feeling better now,' I said again, and left the room.
***
At the second and final dinner of the conference, the guests seemed friendlier and more relaxed than they had throughout the previous days. I and my staff served much more wine than we had before. At the end of the dinner Lord Darlington rose to make a speech.

He thanked his guests for coming to the conference, and proceeded to talk for a long time about his hopes for a better future for Europe. When he had finally sat down, everybody was surprised to see Monsieur Dupont rise to his feet. There was immediate silence in the room. He thanked Lord Darlington for his hard work, and everybody in the room voiced quiet approval. He then surprised everybody by criticizing the American senator, Mr Lewis, for trying to create trouble between him and the other guests at the conference. When he eventually sat down, there was an awkward silence. Finally Mr Lewis rose to his feet and proceeded to criticize Lord Darlington for not understanding the problems of the real world - for not being a professional, like him. 'The world is too complicated for true gentlemen to understand,' he said. 'It's time for politicians and businessmen to take control.'

When he had finished speaking, there was a shocked silence and no one moved. Then Lord Darlington stood up and defended himself against Mr Lewis's attacks. He talked about honour, justice and goodness. 'Professionalism,' he said, 'is just another word for greedy dishonesty.'

Everybody in the room clapped with great enthusiasm at this part of his lordship's speech, except for Mr Lewis. He just looked into his wine glass and shook his head with a tired smile. Just at that moment, I became aware of the first footman beside me.
'Miss Kenton would like a word with you, sir,' he whispered. 'She's just outside the door.'

I left as quietly as possible while his lordship was still speaking. Miss Kenton looked rather upset.
'Your father has become very ill, Mr Stevens,' she said. 'I've called for Doctor Meredith, but I believe he may be a little late.'

I must have looked a little confused, for Miss Kenton then said:
'Mr Stevens, he really is in a bad state. You had better come and see him.'

'I only have a moment. The gentlemen will be needing me in the smoking room very soon.'

'Of course. But you must come now, Mr Stevens, otherwise you may deeply regret it later.'

When I arrived in my father's room, Mrs Mortimer, the cook, was standing by his bed.

My father's face had gone a dull, reddish colour. I had never seen that colour in a living person's face before. I looked at my father for a moment, touched his forehead slightly, then withdrew my hand.

'In my opinion,' Mrs Mortimer said, 'he's suffered a stroke. 'With that she began to cry. I turned away and said to Miss Kenton:
'This is most upsetting. Nevertheless, I must now return downstairs.'

'Of course, Mr Stevens. I will tell you when the doctor arrives.'

I hurried downstairs and was in time to see the gentlemen going into the smoking room. There was now a genuine atmosphere of celebration among the guests as I moved around the crowded smoking room with my tray. I had just finished serving a glass to a gentleman when a voice behind me said:
'Ah, Stevens, you're interested in fish, you say.'

I turned to find the young Mr Cardinal smiling happily at me. I smiled also and said:'Fish, sir?'

'When I was young, I used to keep tropical fish in a tank... My God, Stevens, are you all right?'

I smiled again. 'Quite all right, thank you, sir.'

'As you so rightly explained, I really should come back here in spring. Darlington Hall must be lovely then. The last time I was here...' Mr Cardinal stopped again and looked at me. 'Are you sure you're all right, Stevens?'

'Perfectly all right, thank you, sir.'

'Not feeling unwell, are you?'

'Not at all, sir. Please excuse me.'

I proceeded to serve drink to some other guests. Then I felt something touch my elbow and turned to find Lord Darlington.
'Stevens, are you all right?'

'Yes, sir. Perfectly.'

'You seem to be crying.'

I laughed and, taking out a handkerchief, I quickly wiped my face. 'I'm sorry, sir. The strains of a hard day.'

'Yes, it's been hard work.'

I was continuing around the room when I saw Miss Kenton standing in the doorway. She signalled for me to go over to her. I began to make my way towards the doors but, before I could reach them, Monsieur Dupont touched my arm.
'Butler,' he said, 'I wonder if you would find me some fresh bandages. My feet are hurting again.'

'Yes, sir.'

As I moved towards the doors, I realized Monsieur Dupont was following me. I turned and said:
'I will come and find you, sir, as soon as I have the bandages.'

'Please hurry, butler. I am in pain.'

'Yes, sir. I'm very sorry, sir.'

As I entered the hall, Miss Kenton walked silently towards the stairs. Then she turned and said:
'Mr Stevens, I'm very sorry. Your father died about four minutes ago.'

'I see.'

She looked at her hands, then up at my face. 'Mr Stevens, I'm very sorry,' she said. Then she added:
'I wish there was something I could say.'

'There is no need, Miss Kenton.'

'Doctor Meredith has not arrived yet.' For a moment she bowed her head. She seemed to be crying. But almost immediately she looked up again and said in a steady voice:
'Will you come up and see him?'

'I'm very busy now, Miss Kenton. Soon, perhaps.'

'Then, Mr Stevens, will you permit me to close his eyes?'

'I would be most grateful, Miss Kenton.' She began to climb the stairs, but I stopped her and said: 'Miss Kenton, please don't think that I'm cold-hearted because I'm not coming up to see my father at this moment. You see, I know my father would have wished me to continue working just now.'

'Of course, Mr Stevens.'

I turned away and re-entered the smoking room. As I was moving among the guests with my tray, Monsieur Dupont touched my shoulder and said:
'Butler, have you found my bandages yet?'

'I'm very sorry, sir.'

'What's the problem, butler? Why haven't you found them yet?'

'Sir, a doctor is on his way.'

'Ah, very good! You called a doctor.' Monsieur Dupont turned away and continued his conversation. A short time later, a footman approached me and said:
'Miss Kenton would like to have a word with you, sir.'

I made my way towards the doors, but noticed that Monsieur Dupont was guarding them

'Butler, is the doctor here?' he asked.

'I am just going to find out, sir. I won't be a moment.'

'I am in pain.'

'I'm very sorry, sir. The doctor should not be long now.'

This time, Monsieur Dupont followed me out of the door. Miss Kenton was again standing in the hall.
'Mr Stevens,' she said. 'Doctor Meredith has arrived and gone upstairs.'

She had spoken in a low voice, but Monsieur Dupont behind me immediately said:
'Ah, good!'

I turned to him and said:
'Perhaps you would follow me, sir.'

I led Monsieur Dupont into the games room, then returned to the hallway. Miss Kenton was still waiting for me. Without a word, she accompanied me up the stairs to my father's room.

Doctor Meredith, who was sitting by my father's bed, stood up when I arrived and said:
'I'm sorry, Stevens. He suffered a severe stroke. I can assure you, however, that he was not in any pain.'

'Thank you, sir.'

'I'll be on my way, now. You'll make the arrangements?'

'Yes, sir. However, would you mind seeing a gentleman downstairs? He is in need of your attention.'

'Urgent?'

'He is very keen to see you, sir.'

I led Doctor Meredith downstairs, showed him into the games room, then returned to the smoking room, where the atmosphere among the guests had grown even more cheerful than before.