UNSPOKEN THOUGHTS..

IM SORRY

Let me start this letter from saying sorry, i know ive apologised millions of times before, but now i will do it with much bigger realisation.

Firstly i want to apologise to you for everything bad ive done to you, for those times when i used to i hurt you, ignore you, not caring about you, for making you cry sometimes not even realising it, when i used to say stuff not even thinking that it could hurt you and make you cry. I apologise not because i have to, but because i really mean it. To be honest, for not knowing English well, i cant apologise properly, because i dont know what to say instead of sorry, at the same time i dont want you to think that when i say sorry i dont feel anything.

Ive got another few people i need apologise to Your Mother, for making her worry for her daughter, im sure that she cares about you so much, and everytime she saw you crying or even self-harming yourself because of me, she worried too.

And the second person is Ariana, even though i barely contacted her only once when you blocked me in November, to ask from her if shes known about your state and are you okay or not. She also been worried about you, i dont know what she been telling you about me like a week ago, but i still wanna apologise to her. Sofija, could you please tell her sorry from me, or if she wishes i can do it right in her direct messages.

ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE

Love is a happy ending to the development of a relationship. To achieve it, you need to go through several stages. Only by overcoming all the difficulties, it is possible to rise to the top of feelings. From my point of view a relationship is the union of two people who love each other, sometimes relationships can seem like a very interesting and fun thing, in fact it is not always so. Let me tell you about the stages of a relationship so you understand how things work.

1. The first stage is falling in love. Falling in love is a state of euphoria, one of the most powerful feelings a person experiences. Why does a person fall in love? It is a physiological need necessary to create a couple, to realise oneself and one's needs. On a biochemical level, the feeling of falling in love is associated with the release of the hormones dopamine and oxytocin, which excite the brain in the same way as cocaine or sugar do

2. The second stage is Satiety. In the second stage of the relationship, the hormonal support comes to naught, and the lovers' eyes are opened. It turns out that the partner is not so perfect. Reduction of emotional support of feelings entails saturation with them. There is no longer a desire to be around all the time. Each partner remembers that he has personal interests, hobbies. Their feelings now they show more restrained. During this period, the first conflicts and quarrels arise. The stage of admiring the partner is over. It's time to get to know his real, start working out the rules of the relationship and determine whether you are comfortable in them.

3. The third stage is Rejection. Most often marriages break up after 2-4 years, they account for 27.8 per cent of all divorces. This happens precisely at the most conflictual stage of the relationship - rejection. In fact, having passed the third stage with dignity, having learnt to negotiate with each other and accept your partner as he or she is, and not in the demos of falling in love, you will find yourself at the start of a new happy life.

4. The fourth stage is Acceptance. If at the first difficulties and ambiguities in the relationship you run away, you lose the main trump cards:

1.The opportunity to get to know your partner, and this is the whole universe.
2.The prospect of building a harmonious relationship when you are already halfway there.
3.The chance to experience true love.

At the stage of acceptance all these trump cards are open to you like a key in a fascinating quest. You already know where it is, but you need to get to it. To do that:

1.accept your partner for who he is;
2.change for the better;
3.work together to find compromise solutions to conflicts.

4.Accept, forgive and decide that you are moving on with your dear travelling companion. He should make the same decision.

5. The fifth stage is Mutual respect. Accepting each other is a huge breakthrough in a relationship, and it's worthy of respect. It is proportional to the emotional pleasure. Realising each other's worth will make the union priceless for you. It is certainly not the euphoria of falling in love, but a high that itself promotes the release of joy and pleasure hormones, not the other way round. Love lives where there is respect and freedom. Respect is the simple key that allows a woman to get what she wants by giving a man what he wants

6. The sixth stage is Friendship. Friendship is a period of rapprochement of partners, growth of trust. It is a great time when they begin to understand each other with half a word, half a look.
During this period, it is important to keep going towards each other:

bring romance into your life (dinners, outings, holidays, surprises);
1. invest in the relationship, play fair;
2. discuss problems;
3. kiss, hug;
4. praise, not criticise;
5. forgive what true friends can forgive.
Friendship is one of the building blocks of love. Without this puzzle, there is no big picture.

7. The seventh and the last stage of relationship is a true love. Those who reach this stage in a relationship are the real winners. They have worked long and hard to make their union comfortable and happy for both of them. They solve problems together and avoid misunderstandings. Love helps them grow and develop. Together they are a force that can pull off many of life's challenges and fulfil everyone's dreams that have become a common goal.
Distinctive features of the stage of love:

1. The partners are truly grateful to fate that they have each other;
2. they do not doubt in their choice and in their half;
3. they are one in union, but each is a free personality;
4. always ready to help;
5. not suppressing, but supporting;
6. close mentally and physically.

Each stage takes its own time period, but there are no clear parameters, it is an individual factor. Falling in love usually lasts for the first six months of dating. Some go through all the stages in 5 years, while some will need 10 or more years.

Small digression here :

Since you texted me which is so surprising and im so happy about it the meaning of this letter changes. This letter should have been a goodbye and solving all past problems, but now its something different i cant explain.

ABOUT LIES AND TRUST

There are no healthy relationships without any trust, trust is our everything and we should to learn how to trust each other to keep our relationships healthy.

The only thing that can destroy all trust is a lie. Lying is the worst thing you can do in a relationship because most lies are revealed sooner or later. Some people can forgive a lie time after time, but there are others whose patience and trust can be broken after the first lie, each lie destroying trust more and more. You have to learn to tell the truth, better bitter truth than sweet lies. If you tell the truth, it will not be so painful, if you lie and think that you got away with it, because it is not so, all secret things come to light sooner or later. I don't think anyone would like it if their loved one lied to them.

There are a few reasons why lying is so bad:
1.Because when the truth comes out, you become ashamed, you fall in the eyes of others, you stop being trusted, you lose relationships with people, you get a reputation as a liar, and you are unlikely to be believed by anyone in the future.

2.There is only one positive argument for lying: distorting reality helps to achieve the goal faster. But a good built on lies can be easily destroyed by revealing the truth!

3.Why you can't lie:
- To lie is to sin in front of the God
- Some kinds of lying are punishable by law.
- To lie is to justify the lies of others against ourselves.
- to lie, you need to have a good memory (remember what, to whom and when you said, lied).
- To lie is to lose people's trust
- to lie is to deceive yourself
- to lie is to show weakness....

ARGUMENTS

Quarrels between partners may seem unpleasant and even destructive, but they are actually a normal part of any healthy and growing relationship.

Why its okay to have arguments in a relationship?

Expression of emotions:
Arguments allow partners to express their emotions and feelings. During an argument, they can talk openly about their expectations, frustrations and anxieties. This helps them understand each other better and creates an opportunity for a deeper emotional connection.

Conflict Resolution:
Disputes can arise because of differences in opinions, values and needs. They give partners an opportunity to discuss the problem and find a compromise solution. In the process of conflict resolution, they learn to listen to each other, show empathy and find mutually acceptable solutions.

Developing communication skills:
Quarrels require partners to be able to communicate effectively and listen to each other. They learn to express themselves clearly, be attentive to their partner's needs and seek mutual understanding. As a result, communication skills improve, which contributes to a more productive and harmonious relationship.

Strengthening the bond:
Experiencing an argument and successfully overcoming it can strengthen the bond between partners. When they work through a problem together, they learn to trust each other, support each other, and be there for each other in difficult moments. This helps the relationship grow and develop on a deeper level.

Avoiding hidden problems:
Sometimes quarrels can be a sign of hidden problems that need to be resolved. They bring to the surface unresolved expectations, dissatisfaction or unfinished business. Arguments can be a signal to partners that they need to pay attention to certain aspects of the relationship and find a solution together.

Of course, quarrels in relationships can be unpleasant and unconstructive, especially if they are accompanied by insults or violence. In such cases, it is necessary to seek the help and support of professionals.

However, if quarrels in a relationship occur in a healthy atmosphere, they can be healthy and contribute to the growth and development of the couple. It is important to learn how to communicate effectively, express your emotions, and work on conflict resolution. The ability to overcome difficulties and solve problems together is an integral part of a healthy and happy relationship.

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY AND WHY YOU MUST STOP BOTTLING UP YOUR FEELINGS

Unexpressed emotions become psychosomatic diseases. It is proved that under the influence of any stress the organism wears out and ages faster. And if you suppress such an emotion as anger, you can get serious diseases of the digestive system, heart or liver.
Everyone has at least once heard the phrase: "Do not keep everything in yourself, it will be worse". But not everyone can correctly interpret the meaning of these words. Let's analyse point by point why it is so harmful to restrain your own emotional manifestations.

Suppressing emotions is seriously detrimental to health
If emotions cannot be released to the outside world, they accumulate in the body, thus creating internal tension. If you experienced some negativity, but swallowed the offence, you thereby hid it inside yourself. If you do this all the time, you can get a whole bunch of psychosomatic diseases.

So i ask you to please let everything out when you dont like smt, it will get much better if you tell me things you dont like, rather than just go silent, problem will not be solved still. Deep inside you will feel sad and not understood which may lead to other arguments and quarrels, i am always open for you, maybe i havent noticed making you hurt or sad and never be shy telling me how do you feel. I will never judge, i know i already been promising that and not really keeping my promise, but now i tryna work on myself

ABOUT DEPRESSION AND HOW OUR THOUGHTS AFFECT US

Well, this topic is so necessary to be honest, because it is still with you and it affects you badly and depression doesnt let us do anything, loosing motivation, laziness boredom and you particularly stop enjoying your life at all.

Depression is only in your head, and im talking not specifically about you, but about everyone who is suffering from it. I dont know if i have ever been into depression, but i know it can be stopped. I know its hard but if you keep thinking that you will never be able to get out of it, then it will never happen, this is exactly how our thoughts affect us and lets talk about it, because its really interesting.

Our thoughts affect on our reality, i know it might sound that it doesnt work like this< but this is exactly how we can construct our own reality, starting from your thoughts. You have to start believing in yourself and stop doubting your abilities.
You are what you think. The power that takes care of thought creates our reality. Focus on the positive aspects of life because the energy of our thoughts makes our words have the power to create a new reality. The energy of our thoughts is a potential that is constantly growing . What you focus on becomes stronger.

How do you find your purpose in life?
What matters is the here and now. The future is not defined. You never know in which direction you will start to develop. You can only feel what makes you happier.

Working at our passion level creates energy for action. You will find an inexhaustible level of inspiration for living a life of self-discovery. Self-discovery helps you find the right purpose in your life.

The fact that you feel better about yourself and gives you motivation to live is the reason you should live and evolve. Lifestyle choices are about following your spiritual compass and believing in your abilities.

The sooner you start something, the sooner you will learn how to use it. Start with smaller things and evolve. Lack of regularity is the biggest enemy of shaping your own reality.

All limits are only in our head, you either become your own worst enemy or best friend, it's up to you to decide

HELPFUL TIPS SPECIALLY FOR YOU

In this paragraph there are just some helpful information for you and advices from me based on my experience.

Lets talk about sleep because its one of the most important things to do. We spend like 33 percent of our lives sleeping and this is essential to have enough sleep. I will tell you my own experience about it.

Lack of sleep can lead to fatigue and lack of motivation to do anything , just like now, i went to sleep like at 3 am tonight and now i feel so bad tbh i dont wanna do anything and im so tired. Do you know that the best time to go to sleep is before 10 Pm. The most favourable time to go to bed is between 21:00 and 22:00, because from 22:00 to 23:00 is one of the physiological decline, it is at this time you can easily fall asleep. But at midnight you will not want to sleep, because at this time the body is awake and there is a physiological rise. And when i have a good sleep like at schooldays mostly, i feel more energetic and motivated, so i ask you to have a good sleep and dont stay awake at midnight if you want to feel energetic next morning.

About Tik-Tok or how short videos make us zombies.

Basically, we must stop watching alot of short videos, i guess you have heard about this problem , because its getting more viral on internet and on Tik-Tok itself.

What's wrong with content with kitties? Or a selection of ridiculous and funny moments from life? It's a time killer that's grown into a life. You go in for 2 minutes, but you're stuck for an hour, because the feed is endless. Remember how hard it is to get out of the dopamine hole. You sit, you laugh, you talk to your mate, you swipe some more. And after such a pastime, you don't want to get down to business, study or work.

The fast food content we are offered leads to our brains working faster. But that's not saying good things. We start consuming information faster than our brain can process it. Loss of concentration and attention is ensured.

Information taken from one online-magazine. So now you can see that we lose our ability to pay an attention to something and it affects me so bad and not only me but absolutely everyone and you.

The first step is to recognise the problem. If you realise that you spend too much time in TikTok, Shorts, Reels, VK clips, then the problem is already 50% solved. It is important to realise that this is not a harmless pastime, but an addiction.
The second step is to set limits. You can set the time you will spend on TikTok each day. Any modern smartphone has a screen time feature or parental controls. You choose the app you want, set limits (e.g. 30 mins per day) and you're done.
The third step is to replace TikTok with something more useful. When you're busy or passionate, you just don't have time to even think about useless pastimes. There are enough activities and things in the world to occupy yourself with. I will never believe in the phrase "I have nothing to do." That's just laziness, hence another problem. It's hard to start reading a book, but it's much more useful than lying on the couch.

Next one is about how to stop degrading and become better

how to restore brain function and return to creativity and active life?" - The possibilities of the human organism, including the brain and psyche, its ability to self-repair are limitless! Its potential has not yet been studied by science. Everything in the human organism is originally designed by Nature in such a way that it is able to heal itself.... It is important to have a positive attitude, the right thoughts, confidence in their abilities, and persistence in achieving the goal. The process of rebuilding the nervous system is a very long process and can take several months. It takes patience and perseverance. There are also drugs that can improve the state of the brain after injury, as well as intoxication, exposure to psychotropic drugs, and their consequences. If you go to a neurologist, you will receive treatment under the supervision of a specialist, it is right from a medical point of view; the doctor will be able to trace the effectiveness and dosage of drugs for you, and adjust the treatment if necessary. This is always more effective than self-medication.

Not my words, but ones wise doctors

Now you will be helped by measures to normalise your daily routine, moderate but regular physical activity (2-4 times a week, 30-60 minutes), such as swimming pool, exercise machines, fitness, cycling, skiing, as well as sauna, massage, daily walks in the fresh air (30-60 minutes), a night's sleep of at least 8 hours a day, a full balanced diet, and time. If you want to improve brain activity: memory, intelligence, speed of thought processes, creativity and other brain functions, there is a universal way: exercise. Something more effective than exercise has not yet been invented. Like any other organ of the human body, the brain requires training, and constantly. If a person, for example, is engaged in sports, he trains muscles, they become stronger and larger in volume - with repeated regular loads. If one does not move much, the muscles atrophy, shrink and become weaker. The brain (also an organ) can also be trained, i.e. it can be used more often (reading new books, learning new sciences, foreign languages, acquiring new knowledge and professions) to become wiser and smarter. As they say: "water does not flow under a lying stone".... Best wishes

Prolonged course of depression leads to a significant decrease in pleasure or interest in all or almost all types of activities; weight loss and appetite (or vice versa, possibly increased appetite and weight gain); psychomotor agitation or inhibition; decreased vigour and increased fatigue; feelings of worthlessness and reduced self-esteem or inadequate feelings of guilt; inhibited thinking or reduced ability to concentrate; suicidal tendencies. That said, there is no credible scientific evidence that allegedly "depression leads to degeneration, or neuron die off..." - " And if you can, please recommend some books on Eastern philosophy". - 1) Read the article "The Power of the Taoist Smile" at the link: http://kravtsov.blizko.ru/articles/13468 (copy the link and open it in a new window), 2) the book of Tao Master Mantek Chia "Inner Smile": https://bookmate.com/books/hrwfTUW7 3) Lama Ole Nydahl - "How Everything Is. Buddha's teachings in modern life": http://www.e-reading.club/book.php?book=118990

DONT BE AFRAID TO TRY

In this section, I'm going to talk about how you don't have to be afraid to try new things in your life.
You and I are still young and should try different areas of life, sports, creativity, different clubs. Everywhere you can, because it is important for self-discovery and outlook, also by trying ourselves in different spheres we gain more experience and develop our brains.

I believe in you my love, and i am sure you are possible to do absolutely everything, i know you will become the best version of yourself, please dont stop. I LOVE YOU.

NEVER GIVE UP

Dont be afraid to ask questions, dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it, i do that everyday. Asking for help isnt a sign of weakness its a sign of strength, because it shows you have the courage to admit when you dont know something and that then allows you to learn something new. And eve when you are struggling and even when you are discouraged and you feel like other people have given up on you, dont ever give up on yourself

The 44th president of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

And all those bad days, all those days you dont wanna do shit, you have to be your own motivator, your own coach, your own trainer, your own everything. So to do that you have to come into work and work is whatever your work may be you are ready to go. What that means is you may have failed miserably yesterday but you come to work be like "man you just lost everything how the hell are you this fucking damn motivated?" Cause this is that what it takes, this is what the fuck it takes.

David Goggins.

"if you really want something, you will find a way. If you dont, you will find an excuse"

I know baby sometimes it may be hard and i get burnt out too but we have to achieve our goals i dont want to grow up and become a zombie who works his ass of for whole day just to get money for food and pay for the rent, this is not like this is like a surviving game then. And i wanna live with you and be successful and sometimes you can let yourself be lazy for whole day and o nothing but only when on other days you work on yourself so much to become better. Learn stuff, try yourself in different spheres of our life and change for better i love you so much. Just focus on yourself and your future it might be stressful sometimes but you have got me by your hand im always here for you and i know you are such a creative smart girl and i am so proud of you for everything i see you becoming better every day and i am grateful to have you. Do not give a damn fuck what others will tell you about your goals as you know probably nobody gonna believe in you at start but in the end everyone will be shocked of what have u become in a good way and what have u achieved. Work hard for yourself and dont forget to take rest sometimes to not to get burnt out like i used to, learn, get experience and improve yourself.

ABOUT YOU

This paragraph is about my lovely woman which i have chosen as the love of my life with who i wanna experience everything.

I admire everything about you my love, you are so beautiful and im so happy to have you in my life, you light up even the most darkest days. You make me feel happy like a little kid and sometimes i cant describe how huge my love for you really is.

You are so creative and versatile and at the same time you are so fragile and sensitive. But are also such a reliable person who i can trust and tell my secrets which i dont tell to anyone. You make me feel better when i feel blue or just when i need an attention, you always give me it and im so thankful for it. But when you are sad i wanna be sad too and cheer u up no matter what i wanna defend you from everything which may hurt you and i wont let anyone make you suffer, i wanna be your man. I want to share all joy and sadness with you, to walk through all fire and all water with you, get through anything to become better for each other.

ABOUT US

I remember the day i have fallen for you, im so thankful that it has happened to me, and i am happy it wasnt someone else and it was you, the right person. You are the realest and i want it to be like this forever, i will always cherish all the memories and always miss you when you are at school or just out somewhere without me, i will always remember you in a good terms only and i never wanted to argue. I will thank God for that he has made us to meet each other and it is our faith. I wanna show you that my love for you is not because i just wanna date for fun and just for temporary satisfaction. But i wanna date you to marry and i wanna marry you in front of the God too to show him that i am serious about you and so i want you forever. I would never pick someone else from now because i already decided about the love of my life and not only in this lifetime but in future lifetimes too! And i accept all your mistakes and mines and i forgive you for everything and forgive me too, i accept no ones is ideal and i accept all my and your flaws and if its mutual so lets get started and work on each other to become better versions of ourselves for us. I. love. you.

ABOUT THE GOD

Recently i have turned to God after a long break, i never hated religion or Christianity and i was never being atheist, i just wasnt so religious but a few situations changed my mind about it and i have tuned to Christ, and i am happy i have done that.

"People will forget your thousands of favours because of one mistake, but Jesus will forgive a thousand of your mistakes because of one favour."

Two people went into the temple to pray.
One was a Pharisee and the other ( The Pharisees tried very hard to live righteously. But at the same time they treated other people with disdain, considering them inferior to themselves before God.
The common people regarded them as teachers of the Law, feared their wrath, and never dared to argue with them about matters of faith.)
tax collector . The Pharisee prayed to himself as follows: "I thank God that I am not like other men, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this publican. I fast twice a week, I give 10 per cent of everything I buy."
The tax collector standing far away dared not even lift his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God, be merciful to me a sinner."
Saying unto you that this man went more justified to his house than that man: for whosoever exalteth himself shall be humbled, and he that humbles himself shall be exalted.

The Lord knows all about you, he sees your soul, your suffering heart. He does not care what you look like, He sees you as you really are. He cares about your problems because He loves you enough to give His life to forgive your sins. God wants you to live. He wants to help you.

Dont tell the God that you have problems, tell the problems you have God.

Do not wait that its gonna get better, easier, its not going to. Hard times will always be there, learn how to be happy right now, otherwise you will be late...

Whats wrong with pornography? Pornography teaches people to use others, pornography teaches us to use people as objects and Jesus Christ says : "No, people are not objects to get pleasure from instead people are human beings with minds, emotions, a will." Get to know people as a person make a lifelong commitment to one person of the opposite sex and then enjoy sex within the context of a lifelong commitment thats a biblical marriage. And then Jesus goes on and says you have heard that it was said that you better not divorce, but Jesus goes on and points out that not only is divorce wrong but so is unfaithfulness to one spouse in any kind of situation. Instead of divorcing we are called by God to reconcile to humble ourselves before each other and ask for forgiveness to give of ourselves to the other person in service, thats the way to build a solid marriage. God loves you. I love you..