How To Lose Friends And Alienate People

Commander (1)

Ramp (11)

Tutor/reveal (6)

Protection (5)

Cost reduction (abilities) (3)

Miscellaneous (2)

Draw (9)

Removal (counter) (6)

Artifact synergy (5)

Removal (wide) (5)

Recursion (2)

Land (non-basic) (9)

Removal (targeted) (5)

Cost reduction (spells) (3)

Land (basic) (28)


WARNING: This deck will draw the ire of your opponents as you steal all of their lovely permanents. Expect fierce resistance as soon as you drop that commander.

Memnarch, a.k.a. The Big Stealy Boy.

The shell of the deck is a standard artifact package. It has fantastic tutors like Kuldotha Forgemaster and Tezzeret the Seeker . There's plenty of good ways to draw cards, like Sai, Master Thopterist and Vedalken Archmage . The deck is mono-blue, so counters and removal are pretty standard (although not as heavy as other mono-blue decks for reasons that will be made more obvious later). With a higher than usual ramp count and a good few pieces of cost reduction, you'll be drawing cards and getting out your bigger pieces hopefully faster than everyone else around you.

Then, there's Memnarch . This commander lets you turn any permanent into an artifact (and not just until end of turn), then take control of it.

Before we consider any theft, let's consider some fun little interactions that can occur when your commander is out. Unwinding Clock is a powerful card in any artifact deck - combined with all the mana rocks in this deck, you should be able to keep some mana open every single turn. Combine this with Memnarch and you can turn your lands into artifacts that will untap in every untap step.

The main game plan is very simple:

  1. Ramp like hell.
  2. Get Memnarch out.
  3. Steal shit.
  4. Win somehow.

Steal your opponents' commanders and hit them for their own commander damage! Steal your opponents' mana rocks and their lands to fuel your further stealing! Steal their enchantments for whatever value they could provide! Steal their planeswalkers because you can! Mycosynth Latticeis a fantastic card to run at this point, as it effectively means that you only have to spend mana for your commander's second ability (just make sure to keep some mana handy to counter the inevitable Vandalblast ).

Towards the endgame, when you've got your board out and safe, the best bet is to drop cards like Darksteel Forge Mycosynth Lattice and Nevinyrral's Disk . If you've stolen enough stuff and have this combo of cards out (which is by no means a mana-efficient combo), you can effectively nuke the board as many times as you'd like. At this point, if the people around you haven't folded out of frustration, you can just swing in with whatever creatures you have to kill your opponents.