July 12, 2021

What if….Dogs ruled the world?

A question which is asked by kings, bureaucrats and commoners alike. But the answer to this question is always a human. The human species is the dominant species on our planet. We define what cultural exchanges look like, what is right and what is not and basically everything which is considered important and everything that’s not.

But the question I pose today is this- What if Dogs ruled the world?

Would the world be better off? No doubt on that

But what would the world look like? Let’s explore that a bit.

  • No more handshakes or Namaste
  • Dogs only greet with nose bumps, butt smells and an occasional lick if you like that. No funny smells allowed. Bye bye hi-fis and handshakes
  • There would be a genocide against cats
  • Dogs do not like cats. Cats are the reason for all their problems. No more feline overlords. This planet will be free!
  • All currencies would be backed by bones rather than gold or silver
  • We would be stupid to question this logic, would we?
  • Humans would be made slaves to fulfill their master dog’s wishes
  • Dog commands thee to take me for walks 4 times a day..no 5…no 6..no 10..yes 10 is the right number. Or maybe one or two more.
  • No table manners
  • Doggo gulps down food in one go! What other choice does he have?
  • Fetch would be a national sport
  • Arenas would be filled up to watch dogs bring back stick from one corner to another. Plot twist. Doggo is not going to bring it.
  • Everytime would be Nap time!
  • Unless there’s a packet of chips opening nearby, then the dog king is going to stalk whoever’s eating that!
  • Better movies
  • Forget Star wars, Avengers and Bahubali, our dog overlords will be more into movies like Jurassic Bark, Jab tak hai Bone, Kabhi Bone Kabhi treats
  • Happier headlines
  • Grim news headlines would be replaced by funny ones. “Dog ki adalat and “Into the Barkness” and “Aao treats badle”
  • No stray dogs
  • Dogs of all animals are extremely loving. They will make sure that neither a dog or a human for that matter, sleeps on the street ever!