Дневник с Крузенштерна, год 2002-2003. Часть девятнадцатая.

26.11.2002 Diensdag (Вторник)  
20.31 I continue to keep a diary, because (потому что) your messages doesn't let me to keep silence, you don't let me to keep silence, and I can't keep silence. When I have been writing cable for you at morning, I try to express the chief thing, but little things has no more less importance. In short, I continue to keep diary. Oh, Ira, Sunday was so hard, and Monday too. I felt your absence all time, barely nadding emptiness in my breast, just a little to the left. And I translated papers about work (it is so quite another language, what I have been learning), and then I lay on my bed with arms round Mishkatje and tried to read and understand stories for children. I'm myself like a child now with my Mishkatje - we sleep together (вместе) and read together. I think it looks so pretty - 23 years old man and teddy-bear.
For one story about 'Jan, Jans en de kinderen'* I need about half in hour, but I like it - I remember a lot of words.
Our time in Bremerhaven was perfect - even despite chief radio officers diligence (it is such trifle). Everything - all time. Every minute with you.... But... But you sleep so light - if I awake, move a little, you are awakening already. And how can I will wake you up by aroma of tea? A? But to sleep with you with arms around each other, especially when your head lies on my shoulder... And I has a good night's rest. And when we played in tennis or billiard or games in Ice-cream cafe, and when we told in the bed or in the cafe at dinner... and when we walked arm-in-arm in the same heads... and when we made love...sex... I like to see your eyes in mirror in the car. No, I love to see your eyes. I love you and everything around you. You are writing a lot about papers and driving lessons, but I understand only in general. I will try to get international driving lessons in Russia and I will find out about everything and will do as soon as possible. I need to wait till Monday only. Yes, I forgot (я забыл) my shampoo and Igor gave me some shampoo for 6 days. And about opening present I will tell you some later. My Love, Dear Ira, a lot of kisses and hugs for you and nice dreams today (сегодня) and always (всегда). I love you so much. I will go to my Mishkatje, because (потому что) when I hug him, I feel you a little.

*Ира подарила мне пюшевого медвежонка и большую книгу голландских комиксов для детей “Jan, Jans en de kinderen”.

28.11.2002 Donderdag (Четверг) 22.03 We are 80 miles from Kaliningrad. Strong and cold wind. I painted support for antenna today and felt it myself. When I did it, I went to fore mast in order to back brash and paint. Paint was a little. Serioga Osov said: 'I don't need paint, but I need to color some places...' And I colored some places. Sometimes I have been helping to Serioga to do something. It is funny and untediously (неутомительно).
Two nights ceaselessly I had erotic dreams with you. I don't remember exactly my dreams, only sensation of you and sensuality. And I have been sleeping light. What I will see tonight?
Today I could send message to you, but I can't receive something. May be tomorrow.. I have 48 messages for transmission and no communication for it now. And I hope to send tomorrow my thousandth cable - it will be for you. I wont to tell you every day how strong I love you, what you are so important and dear person for me, what you are the most desired girl in the world and the most beautiful. I love you Ira! I'm happy! A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!!!!
I listening Dutch music and I find it quite a nice. I'm very proud what I have one of three CD with pictures in the world (limited edition) and it is so nicely to me. Serioga Osov today sow writing on the CD - 'for my Mishka' - and said "Mishka is you! Yes, it suits for you!".
I love you with all of my heart (я люблю тебя всем сердцем) and all of my soul. And how can it be otherwise? Nowise!
I'm sleepy, because (потому что) you are coming to me at night. I will go to bed!:-))

30.11 Zaterdag (Суббота) 08.20 Now (сейчас) we have different time in 1 hour. Yet I lost the thread of feeling of you. It seemed (казалось), you never was in my life, I devised you. Yesterday (вчера) I was totally in bed order, went in the ship like molecule in Brownian movement. I didn't get messages from mail delivery system about successful reception of two my messages for you, and got 12 messages instead 22 (10 messages was lost in radiocenter). But today morning (НО СЕГОДНЯ УТРОМ) I have message from you and I know (я знаю) you got my cables. As a matter of fact (на самом деле) everything is more better (все намного лучше), then it seemed (чем это казалось) yesterday (вчера).
No, no presents for me for 1000th cables. Two days ago I took cables from people last day and cadets brought to me about 50 pieces. CHief Radio OFFicer (CHeeR OFF, it suits him) wanted, as always (как всегда), to do more bad. But, ha-ha-ha, my bad mood changed for the better, and CHeeR OFF will remains an no good man. And nobody knows about my 1000th cable. So that it is only our holiday (это только наш праздник).
Alla from crews mess-room is treated more soft to me. Sergey Gichkin gave me two photos of you and me from summer Bremerhaven, when we went downstairs to berth before your leaving. But I'm looking forward (но я жду с нетерпением) to look our pictures from autumn Bremerhaven.
Here is frost (здесь мороз) -1 degrees. We are drifting one mile from russian coast. Tomorrow morning (завтра утром) we'll enter to channel at 06.00 and 3 hours will be go till Kaliningrad. And only at 15.00 after control by all boundary services this long voyage will finish. I can not send something and hope to talk with you at Sunday. It will be tomorrow already (это буде уже завтра). I love you so deeply and very much. And I miss you badly. Kiss and hug you in my dreams every day (целую и обнимаю тебя в моих мечтах каждый день).
12.24 Ira, listen, there are phrases from my Dutch lesson (I need to connect three sentences in one by short words): “Mijn buurman zaagt elke dag hout. Mijn buurman groet mij nooit. Het hout komt van mij bomen.”* If I translated it right, than I like this lessons.

*Мой сосед пилит дрова каждый день. Мой сосед никогда со мной не здоровается. А дрова-то из моих деревьев. – голл.

01.11.2002 Zondag (Воскресенье) 08.36 Goeie morgen, Mijn Lieve Ira. Ik heb de slechte nieuwheden. Er is slecht weer, en bezoek is voor een poos uitsteld. Het is 5 gradenonder nul, het sneeuwt, de hard wind. Nooit in mijn leven (никогда в моей жизни) ik zag Kruzenshtern in sneew. Cadeten wegnemen dit met behulp van de houtspaden. I kan niet aan jou een maltje sturen, want wij eindigde iets te uitzenden. Ik hoop, wij bezoeken spoedig.*

*Доброе утро, моя милая Ира. У меня плохие новости. У нас плохая погода и заход откладывается. Здесь 5 градусов ниже нуля, идет снег, сильный ветер. Никогда в своей жизни я не видел Крузенштерн в снегу. Курсанты убирают его с помощью лопат. Я не могу послать тебе сообщение, потому что передача сообщенией закончилась. Я надуюсь, что мы скоро зайдем. – я уже умею немного писать по-голландски)).

Крузенштерн в снегу.

Калининградский канал 1-го декабря 2002 года. На заходе в Калининград.

Моторист Макс Левицкий вышел покурить.

Боцман второго грота Миша Привалов. Утомлен ожиданием захода.

Продолжение - часть двадцатая.

Крузенштерн пришвартовался уже в сумерках. Пока прошли таможню и все пограничные службы, стало совсем темно. Меня встречали мама и Ольга Анатольевна. Они прождали в порту несколько часов, пока я смог сойти на берег. Рейс 2002 года наконец закончился. Зимой я ездил в Голландию к Ире в гости, а потом она приезжала ко мне. Крузенштерн был поставлен в сухой док на ремонт. В апреле начнется новый рейс, а в конце августа 2003 года я оставлю Крузенштерн, чтобы уехать жить в Нилерланды. Но обо всем этом я расскажу в следующих частях дневника.