Дневник с Крузенштерна, год 2002-2003. Часть двадцать четвёртая.

28ste van April 2003, Maandag Monday 20.44 Dear Koshkatje.
I got your three messages! Yuppi! It works. But I didn’t have time today for answer. In 0700 was "all hands on deck", and after it I was running all day without free minute. And moreover I have headache and heavy head, because weather is bad and ship is rocking. At 2100 will be “all hands on deck” again, and now I’m waiting for telephone conversation with radio center.
23.19 I wanted to go to bed today as early as possible and now I can do it. I was trying to have contact with radio center for two hours, because scientist will be father soon, he wanted to know what his wife knew from clinic about child. She will go to doctor for ‘ultra sound investigation’ in start of may.
‘Parusniy avral’ was canceled, but I didn’t know about it until Vlad came and said it. Now is too late for enough sleeping and I’m writing like talking with you. Outside is raining all day. Engines doesn’t work, we have one sail on every mast. CD ‘I am Sam’ is playing. Between calling to radio center I wrote message to you and sent it 20 minutes ago (may be you will read it today), and only after it I got your message. Mijn Lieve Koshkatje, I love You. I got today morning three the same messages from you.
Yesterday was day, when everybody must have painted egg and knock with another eggs (Easter). We did it in time of supper. But my egg was knocked to pieces after one knock.
I think I will go to sleep. My eyes are closing. I hope I will have time tomorrow. Koshkatje-e-e, slaap lekker (Спокойной ночи - голл.)! M-m-m.

29ste van April 2003, Diensdag Tuesday

22.31 Today I had to know a lot of bad news of my work on Kruzenshtern. And I’m in low spirits now. And I don’t like all organization system of this ship.
Second navigator said me, that I have salary as sailor. I can understand it, because I have diploma of sailor. But I can’t understand nobody told me about it. I went to chief mate and asked him. He said Igor knew about it and didn’t said to you. Igor said "I didn’t know". But I think everybody knew, but they kept it from me I don’t know why. I asked them (Igor and chief mate) directly about everything and what? News, news and news. Nobody said me about it. Ok, I’m shut up.
Two “parusnyi avral” was today and there was no good. Misha Privalov has no voice now.
It was black clouds of day. Now sun will come. I got message from you and I understand it easy. I’m glad for your picture from wedding day. And now I will go to sleep. I’m tired.

Erste van Mei 2003 Donderdag (1st of May 2003 Thursday)

09.43 I didn’t write yesterday, because "parusniy avral" was at night, at 2 o’clock, and I went to sleep yesterday very early – at 2200. I slept this night so good. I dreamed a movie about live and battles of knights. First I was a village guy and I had to see one knight was killed by another knight. Than I met knights and began to be one of them. Soon I was chief knight and I was killed in end of story in a big battle.
Yesterday evening Sasha (from Swetliy) gave to me one nice chocolate candy, I put it in my bed with hope to eat up, but I forgot about candy and felt asleep soon. Today morning I found only chocolate paper and brown stain on my sheet. Big big tragedy!!! When I told this story to Sasha (and I met him next to toilette), he nearly pissed.
In time of night avral I was climbing up on mast. It was strong wind and full dark. But I was lucky with thoughts about you.
I can’t set broken part of radar antenna, though we repaired it. Here is rain from time to time. And everyday I have telephone conversation with Kaliningrad. 1st of May is Tag der Arbeit in Russia, therefore cadets brought to me a lot of cables yesterday.
I showed “Kostja fotoboekje” to Serioga Osov and one more time made sure everything made you is best. I like it so much.
18.56 Today morning in a shower I said to Lev about my tragedy and asked him to look at my back for chocolate…

Tweede van Mei Vrijdag (Second of May 2003 Friday)
21.59 … Lev found nothing, but to everybody he was saying: ‘I was in a shower, when Kostik came all in a chocolate…’. And some later, in afternoon I went to laundress for exchange of my sheet. Can you imagine what she was thinking?
But it was yesterday. I repaired antenna and everything is working now. Chief mate was on watch on flying bridge and Igor said, that I made antenna working. Michael Novikov said: “He knows how to change ball bearing and he can to go to work in auto service.” I didn’t like this joke, because two days ago he said, that I have big chance to go to home from St-Peterburg, because three sailors will come, and Kruzer has only two free places. May be he didn’t like me, but I don’t know why.
Yesterday evening I got three your messages one after one. I think Outlook is working too good. You don’t need to be worry about it. I tried to send you answer, but operator from radio center send me message, that I need to repeat message for you, because it has mistakes. I think You got it, cause it is automatic service, but I sent this message again (may be, operator didn’t understand Dutch and smiling sign 8-)). Today everything repeated: I got message from operator and sent You the same mailtje again. I hope you got all. By the way, I can forget – can You write in your messages time and data of writing? I know answer and thank You very much, My swe-e-e-et Ko-o-o-oshka8-))))))))
You know, I feel myself real sun, because I don’t have bad mood. I’m looking forward for nice future; I will try to be good father and loving husband. I have to go by big way and it is not easy, but in my heart is burning flame of desire to be Your hero forever. It is great power. Love is great power. Koshkatje, I love You very much! You are my little sport Koshkatje, tender and strong, smart and funny, the most sexy and desired. But You know, today morning I woke up without erection. I will wait tomorrow morning and after two next morning without erection I will start to panic. O, I have your Top Secret, it will help. I hope…
I made today paper for toilet in 6 language. With Dutch and French phrases. OPLETTEN!
ALSTUBLIEFT, WERPEN U GEEN TOILETPAPIER IN HET TOILET, MAAR IN DE VUILNISBAK. DANK U WEL! (Пожалуйста, бросайте туалетную бумагу не в унитаз, а в корзину. Спасибо! - голл.) It’s my pride today. In toilet I threw away two old papers – first in two languages (very old) and second with four languages. Obvious progress!
And last news. Today I went boating with trainees as sailor. Kruzenshtern is very beautiful ship! I sow your pictures, I sow a lot of another less good pictures, but by my eyes I sow real beauty. It was my first time, when I sow Kruzer from water.
OK. I will go to sleep and watch for erection and look your Top Secret. Wish me nice dreams, Beauty Women. I will be falling asleep with thoughts about you.

Derde van Mei, Zonderdag* (Third of May 2003, Sunday)

08.18 I had erection yesterday evening and today morning too! I’m Your sexy Mishkatje!
12.30 Ira, You will be laughing, but now I have the same trouble with folder like in Your computer. I tried to find solution of this trouble, but without success. But I will continue search.

*Написано неправильно, правильно - Zondag)))

Fijfde van Mei, Maandag (Fifth of May, Monday)

09.33 Privet, My Beloved.
I dreamed last night about you. You was not far from me, but I could not find you, whatever I did. I awake with deep feeling of your absent, but morning avral (at 07.00) dispelled it. 5 days are not 5 months.
Last two days I had not much work, because cadets didn’t bring me cables, radar antenna is working, nothing is broken. I began to study Dutch again, started from first lesson. Now lessons are easier for me. And I had time to forget something, therefore I need to repeat it.
Now I’m reading more. Last two days I organized ‘evening of reading’ in cabin of Misha. I took in library book of Steven Likok and made oneself ill with laughing. I went to Misha’s room, where were Serioga, Jenia, Misha and one more sailor and said: ”You need to listen it”. They were laughing very much. After me Misha reed one story from his book and we arranged to read something funny next evening. Yesterday me and Misha reed again. Until today evening I will prepare some funny stories. May be somebody else will come.
Yesterday chief boatsman moved me to fore mast for “all hands on deck”. I like to work there more and I don’t need to work with Jenia.
And yesterday I sow Gunter first time. When new trainees was coming on board from little ship, was so strong wind that to breath was very difficult and I was hiding in radio room. But I knew him right away. Only his name I looked in passenger’s list.
18.18 I just came down from the mast. We took in the sails and I fixed sails to the Rhea. It is raining here and I’m wet through.
I showed to Gunter newspaper about You and Me at morning. And some later he was in radio room for excursion. He is funny man.
19.25 I’m receiving telegrams and waiting for your answer about Gunter. No, I have no message from you. May be some later. I will check it. I Love You, My Little Koshka. Days are flying away so fast, I don’t have time to count. But I can count till 3 – tomorrow (6.05) –one, after tomorrow (7.05) – two, and 8th of May – three. And tenth day I will see You. But it is not four, it is three with little tail.
21.54 I got your message and I’m getting dreary. I don’t know why. May be, because I don’t have good place for sleeping, may be, because You and Gunter were good friends and now... I don’t know. We have no one good free place for sleeping on Kruzenshtern – in some cabins for sailors live trainees. I have only one bed for you in my room. We will go to Hotel in bad/good case. I miss you very much right now. I’m tired to be dependent from something or somebody. Hotel? Why not? We will have big bed and shower. We will be together all time in Hamburg. It is more important. I Love You and I want to be next to you. Where – doesn’t matter. The best moments of my life – it is time with you. I Love You. The best moments of my life – it is time with you. I Love You, I Love You, I Love You.
I will go now to “evening of reading” and I will try to be merrier. Everything will be OK.

Zeste van Mei, Diensdag (Sixth of May 2003, Tuesday)

21.07
22.38 Today Sergey Gitchkin was taken ill with appendicitis. Denmark tug drove away him to the hospital. But he was walking himself and looked good. Now we are drifting next to Denmark coast and waiting news from hospital.
Yesterday nobody wanted to listen me (somebody was sleeping and somebody was playing cards) and I went to sleep with very bad mood. In that case I have feelings that everything that I have been doing for people is nothing for them, and if would not I did it – they would not grieved. And morning was no better: I had no good answer for your question about place for sleeping. Before midday captain said me that I need to go to paint as sailor, but I had a lot of my work. And I painted board of the ship and after eating I worked in radio room. Nothing was good. I went to my room and asked my room mate: “Can I pay to you for free room?” He said: “If you will find bed for me, I will sleep there”. And I found a bed. After it I was ready to work till sunrise. We will sleep in my room and will go to the shower together! We don’t need to go to hotel. We will not wake up early. I feel myself like a load off one’s mind! Nice dreams tonight and nice awakening for you and me tomorrow. I Love You deeply! I miss you very much. You are my the most closest person and the most dearest (can I say like this? Doesn’t matter, I can think like this.)

Серёгу Гичкина (2-й механик) с аппендицитом забирает датский буксир.

Zevenste van Mei, Woensdag (7 of May 2003, Wednesday)

16.17 Second day I have no free time, because I work as sailor and after eating and at evening I work as radio operator. I got money today – 270 dollars, but this little number already doesn’t worry me. I can also work in engine room at night and cook something on kitchen at morning for the same money. Al those disorders are nothing, because it is already not my life.
Today I had very nice people for excursion. And I conducted a good excursion for them. They applauded me. It was first time.

Echtste van Mei, Donderdag (8 of May 2003, Thursday)

11.45 I’m sorry, that I didn’t write yesterday and two days ago, but I didn’t have time for it. Yesterday I finished a painting at 22.00.
And today morning was ‘avral’ after breakfast for rolling of sails, and material of sail penetrated under my nail. Now I have pain in two fingers under the nails. Brr-r-r-r.
I got info about our arriving and sent message to you.
Yesterday I was waiting (may be, vainly) that captain will say to me: “Congratulations with Day of Radio”. But only You, some sailors and a scientist said it to me (I said to Osov Serioga: ”Congratulate you, colleague!” (We studied in one faculty)). I got message from radio center and port with congratulations.
I hoped to come to Hamburg some early, even if in midday. But I will see you, it is enough, I’m happy.
17.34 Я только хотел сказать тебе, что я очень-очень благодарен тебе. Всегда и за все. Но я, наверно, всегда забываю об этом сказать. Ты приезжаешь, куда только можно, проделываешь тысячи километров, переносишь работу и меняешь планы. Я очень это ценю. И хочу тебе сказать огромное спасибо. Теперь я не забуду тебе об этом сказать.
20.51 You know, one women in radio center had been sending to me messages like this: “ Your cable to e-mail [email protected] is received with errors. Please repeat it.” It was two or three times and I was so angry, I screamed to monitor: ”It! Is! Dutch!!! It! Is! Without! Errors!!!!! Send it like it is!!!! Please…”, because, for example, I sent message to you at morning, and received message from women in afternoon, at 4 o’clock. And I thought, that you didn’t get it in time because of stupid women, and I sent message again, but you could went to work or something like this, you understand. But yesterday I got message from women together with your answer. It is possible, because e-mail service via telex is automatic service (I knew it, but was not sure). Now women can send me her “please repeat…” every day ten thousands times. I know – you got my love letter.
Today I sent hundredth telegram in this month and presented can of Oma’s jam to woman, who wrote it. She is new charlady. She was so wonder and glad.
I used camomile cream from you and now I don’t have pain in my fingers. You are so careful wife, I love You (I decided, if I have been writing word ‘I’ (Kostja) big, I will write word “you” like this – You (Ira)). Because I respect You, I esteem You highly, You are my darling treasure, and ultimately, I LOVE YOU.

Перед заходом в Гамбург мы в авральном порядке покрасили заново весь Крузер. Курсанты красят борт.