Internet is for porn

KATE
The internet is really really great

TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn

KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
What?
There's always some new site,

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
I browse all day and night

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn

KATE
Trekkie?!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,

KATE
What are you doing!?

TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!

TREKKIE
Oh hello Kate Monster

KATE
You are ruining my song

TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

KATE
Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

TREKKIE
Okie dookie

KATE
Good

I’m glad we have this new technology

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
Oh...
Which gives us untold opportunity

TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry

KATE
Right from you own desktop

TREKKIE
For ---

KATE
You can research, browse and shop

TREKKIE
---

KATE
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop

TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Noooo

TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!

KATE
Trekkie

TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s grouse, you’re a pervert

TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate Monster

KATE
NO really, you're a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet

TREKKIE
Ohhhh?

KATE
What?!

TREKKIE
You have no idea!
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
Sorry Kate

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
I masturbate!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i happen to know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate--
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. . .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Grouse!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
I hate porn

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click

KATE
I hate you men!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I’m leaving!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I hate the internet!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!