THE END OF MY TALENT VISA ANNOUNCEMENT

It’s officially over! The Tech Nation spell has dissipated and I don’t have to be a leader in a tech field anymore. My ILR says: stay for as long as you like and do whatever you want.

Starting 2018, I’ve had to take on a somewhat unnatural shape and convince some hiring managers I am the product designer they need. It eventually landed me a pretty good job at Penguin. And now I work in an actual startup, which allows me to make some serious savings. But the game has now changed and I’ve reached ✨Domestic University Fees✨ that I’ve been dreaming of.

Let’s check in.

Do I feel like going back to Russia?

Do I feel like relocating somewhere else?

Do I want to work in digital tech?

Yes, as a way to build up some financial security for a career change.

Was it all worth it?

Yes

Best thing that happened in those 5 years?

Getting to work at Penguin: the vibe was great, and having to adjust to the lockdown mode while there really did serve me well, because everyone was kinda equal learning this new way of life. In a way, it restored my faith in humanity. I felt the least misplaced working at Penguin.

But then also going to therapy was very, very useful. If you like healthy coping mechanisms say yay! (Yay.)

Worst thing that happened in those five years?

I had a depressive episode about one year in, when they tried to softly phase me out of The Economist, without firing me flat-out. It painfully coincided with a collapse of the situationship I was in. So I quit and spent a few months staring at a wall, as you do. What a weird time that was. The Economist.

And of course the war breaking out in 2022 was very very bad, I lost my shit completely – as did everyone – and only vaguely remember the period between February and April. I got some phenomenal support though.

What next?

I need to decide if I wanna go into filmmaking and writing, or back to the good ol’ graphic design – and I have to find what to specialise in within the field. Then figure out the tactic and the strategy. It’s a bit like being a Drag Race contestant on a Snatch Game episode, when all you brought is some tassles and a stick horse, and Rupaul approaches you: ‘oh, who is she supposed to be?’ – that’s my current challenge, to find a good answer. And make it funny!
Mmmayybee actually get a mortgage, I guess. Scared of mortgage. What if you get a mortgage and then find there’s a ghost in your new house? That’s an awkward conversation to have with a bank.

So I made some plans:

I’m on the judging panel for this year’s RSA Student Design Awards! Because I can and I want to – which is a rare coincidence. Plus I need to check how I feel about design as a discipline, so that’s a way of doing it.
I’m doing a creative writing course at CSM, beginning in April. I need to check if I’m capable of actually being a writer. I’ve always fancied that, but never really tried. So this is a bit of a push, formal motivation, to really give it a go.
I’m volunteering at Isle of Wight festival this summer. I’m scared of going to a festival alone, and I suspect I might really hate it, so I decided to go with a group of people whose goal is to help people like me. Not much to do with my future. Just a thang.
I’m probably gonna keep my tech job til the end of the year, because that way, I’ll leave with a good sum of money and some shares, for what that’s worth. I might even keep it part time, if they allow me to do 3 days a week.
Having thoroughly researched potentially interesting degrees, I’ve come to a clear conclusion that my spheres of interest are eclectic as fuck. No Venn diagram will stretch enough to get my interests overlap. So I will go to a few open days and see about courses in Cultural Studies, Film Production, Graphic Design, Comedy Writing and other capitalised word pairs. I’m most excited about the Comedy Writing entry criteria, where you have to write some sketches based on existing sitcoms.

How am I feeling overall

I thought I might cry, but so far, no crying. Maybe it will come up when I least expect it.

Instead, it’s a nice expansive feeling, like whenever you go, you share into a wider realm of possibilities. You don’t have to remind yourself not to commit too much to any activity that can lead you away from the tech employment. Tier 1 Exceptional Talent makes you into kind of a Tech Nun. You could have an orgy, but only as long as you don’t leave the monastery.

So far, I got to tell my line manager that I don’t actually wanna go into tech leadership. How many times I had to bite my tongue, and now I get to say it.