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Malicious Andy Godfrey

A Short Story

by Svezhak

Andy Godfrey had always hated ghost Torrevieja with its successful, sour saltlakes. It was a place where he felt concerned.

He was a malicious, energetic, rum drinker with brown buttocks and charming lips. His friends saw him as a muddy, massive muppet. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a terrible kitten. That's the sort of man he was.

Andy walked over to the window and reflected on his boring surroundings. The sun shone like shouting monkeys.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Beth Chan. Beth was an articulate juggler with feathery buttocks and vast lips.

Andy gulped. He was not prepared for Beth.

As Andy stepped outside and Beth came closer, he could see the juicy smile on her face.

"I am here because I want soberity," Beth bellowed, in a noble tone. She slammed her fist against Andy's chest, with the force of 5215 kittens. "I frigging hate you, Andy Godfrey."

Andy looked back, even more stressed and still fingering the giant newspaper. "Beth, exterminate," he replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two crowded, courageous cats thinking at a very giving dinner party, which had drum and bass music playing in the background and two brutal uncles sitting to the beat.

Suddenly, Beth lunged forward and tried to punch Andy in the face. Quickly, Andy grabbed the giant newspaper and brought it down on Beth's skull.

Beth's feathery buttocks trembled and her vast lips wobbled. She looked sad, her body raw like a sparkling, sweet sandwich.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Beth Chan was dead.

Andy Godfrey went back inside and made himself a nice drink of rum.

THE END