Women over 35 can learn how to improve their family and intimate life.    

I will not consider married women. Why? Yes, because by this age, most married ladies live in marriage according to the principle “Hold on and be fine.” Moreover, this is the majority who actively report in chats and forums that they are “thinking of getting a divorce.”

They rarely go any further than they “think . ” On the same public pages, ladies are actively looking for recipes in the style of: “How to improve your family and intimate life, without the risk of divorce/scaring your husband/feeling discomfort/being very tense.” The statement “I’m thinking of getting a divorce” is a message in the style of “whine and okay.”

And “I want to improve my family and sex life” is translated as: “let me try something simple, pleasant and safe, so that later I can reassure myself with the assurance “I tried.”

The result of such inaction or imitation of action is natural. Parallel life or divorce. But you can say to your friends: “I haven’t tried anything.”

But we will return to single women, with them everything is more clear. To bright girls 35+

Let's start with the fact that half of women after 35 take the position of “alone is better than with a man. Maybe you come across a normal one, but there are almost none of those left.” To make it clear for the guys, this is the male equivalent of the phrase: “I’d rather satisfy myself, all women are mercantile anyway.”

In both the first and second cases, the position masks banal laziness, fear and protecting oneself from potentially unsuccessful acquaintances.

If you talk to such a woman, you will either hear that she has been on hundreds of dates and tried every approach in the world. In short, “I did everything, there are simply no normal men left.”

Or she firmly believes in fate, and a man will definitely find her by hacking the intercom and breaking into the 12th floor of a new building on the outskirts of a residential area.

But these are lyrics . The second half of women understands that port wine does not flow under a lying stone and is quite ready to be bright, to be a girl, to date and get acquainted.

But, as in the case of men, women 35+ do not know how to meet people at all. Failure of all potentially successful dates. And if it does happen to start a relationship, it is due to pure chance and not for long. Which further convinces us of the futility of finding a man.

I have already spoken about the main problem. A total misunderstanding of the psychology of a man after 35, plus an attempt to stretch the owl of his experience of youth onto the globe of maturity. This is most clearly seen in relation to sex.

What did men want from me when I was 19? Proximity? Ha! Free cash register! I’m experienced, liberated, and I can force whoever I want into bed. I’ll dress sexier, strongly hint at my readiness for this business, and then the classics: apartment - miracles of activity in bed - his interest - my consent - let the relationship begin!

Sound like a plan? Otherwise... In 20 years there would have been fire. And that was ten years ago. You can’t really lure today’s male youth this way. Now, if you start a skating rink in Dota, suggest...

Do you know a sure way to scare a man off on a date? Start talking to him about intimate life. How you love him and how you know how to do it.

By this age, men understood from their own experience that this is work and considerable physical activity, rewarded with a diploma of honor and a familiar ending. They no longer believe that their wonderful 5 minutes will cause your sincere delight and raise his self-esteem.

For a man, intimacy, especially with the woman he likes, is a test. In which he is not the most capable student (and even if he is worthy, it is almost impossible to “read” a woman for the first time, and he is almost always terrible . But a woman 35+ is an examiner with vast experience. Pull your ticket, go get ready.

Well, why is this necessary? Lose your self-esteem? Sweat and cum? An achievement in the style of “don’t piss and get it done” ? By the age of 35, a man (not at all suddenly) understands a simple truth: everything is in the head.

And until he has passed the “triggering threshold,” a woman’s demonstration of readiness (which every first lady uses) evokes in him the same reaction as a decent 19-year-old girl’s persistent demonstration by her gentleman of the desire to drag her into bed.

By the way, about the response threshold. I’ve already written about it and discussed it on video, but judging by the DM – “again – great.” Every date with a man should have a purpose. Simple AIDA model. At each stage, a man has a response threshold. Obvious things? Nothing like that!

Do you know what is the most common goal a woman has on a date? “To get to know each other and get to know each other better.” Awesome goal. It’s not clear what problems it solves. You can get to know him better even after you have attracted attention and aroused interest.

And so... well, we found out and liked it. What's next? Second date? Oh, that's not true. On the first date, you didn’t do anything for the second date except talk about yourself and “get to know him better.”

To make it easier to understand what changes when dating 35+, women should accept the unpleasant truth that is usually ignored. Unlike dating at 19-20 years old, the man and woman switched places. Their roles and desires have changed. And from a psychological point of view, this is normal.

The attitude of a man towards a woman still changes in leaps and bounds (triggering threshold). But the desires and goals became quite conscious. Hormones are not driving us, we have experience, curiosity of the “how can it be?” long ago satisfied.

Now the man wants “like in the movies.” Now a man chooses according to the principle ” “it’s interesting to be with her . Now a woman has to carefully and carefully transfer a man from stage to stage of a relationship. Plan, study, read the markers, act.

But this is new. This is not the usual. This is an unfortunate reality. Therefore, most women meet according to the principle: I will be bright, I will show myself, I will demonstrate my readiness, I will hint thickly - and then HE will act .

Will not be. For a bunch of reasons. Most men will not even go further than the correspondence stage, or they will even abandon it. Because most women don’t know how to attract the attention of men after 35. If only they could put these brains into the body of a 20-year-old girl whom a 20-year-old guy is dating. But alas.

To make a man's indifference in his gaze (masked as attention and interest) change at first to curiosity, and then to interest is a task that requires effort.

A bright girl that only a boy can notice. And for this you need correspondence and a first date, to awaken this same boy in an adult man. BUT this is effort, so “I just haven’t met the right one, when I meet it, it will happen on its own.”

This is where bright girls 35+ live in the world. Ready for adventure, passion, unusual intimacy, intelligent dialogue. BUT. But no one notices. Grown-up girls who absolutely do not know how to make acquaintances and show themselves in such a way as to interest their peers.

There is no need to say that the world is not fair. He has always been like this. And for a woman over 35, in order to get acquainted, she needs to learn this again. But for most people it’s easier to whine and calm down.