Creating a Reality Distortion Field

In modern times, few people have changed the world we live in more than Steve Jobs. Although,others were involved along the way to Apple's dominance in Brand marketing. Few of them, if any, will be remembered in the same way as Steve Jobs. I once noted we will not be remembered for our achievements in life but, the impact we leave on other peoples.

Steve left an impact. The best thing about his impact, is he was alive when it was greatest. Steve Jobs, like many before him, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Mahatma Gandhi, Mohammed Ali & many more had that special something about them. People would listen whenever they spoke. People would stop in their presence. Sure, a few didn't agree. But, whether you agreed or not, for the people who mattered, the ones they wanted to motivate, they did. More so, they motivated people around them to change. In 1981 Budd Tribble referred to Steve Jobs as having created a Reality Distortion Field. The story suggests Tribble was referring to a Star Trek episode where a species called Talosians were able to create illusions which were indistinguishable from actual reality. It is fair to say each of the above people were able to visualise something different and had the ability to make other people see it too. Thus creating the Reality Distortion Field.

I have become increasingly curious about how a person could be so influential? So believable and utterly motivational. Some have termed this charisma or je ne sais quoi? I think Mr Tribble had the best explanation. The simple ability to change the reality of the people they interacted with.

Throughout my career in sales and learning & development I have been in pursuit of this ability. In doing so, is where I went wrong. A reality distortion field cannot be created through a simple desire to create one. It happens when you do not look for it. It happens when the characteristics it requires happen at once and consistently. You don't create a RDF, You grow one & you become one and everyone who comes within your field is affected by it.

“The reality distortion field was a confounding mélange of a charismatic rhetorical style, indomitable will, and eagerness to bend any fact to fit the purpose at hand,”― Walter Isaacson

Let me explain: All of the above people had an idea. They had a vision. There are some people I didn't mention who had visions too. Some caused others to create atrocities that were so horrific they deserve no mention. Yet they had the same gift. This ability to influence, beyond thought, beyond reason. It is my understanding none of these people were related, some didn't even share the same years alive. What they did share, was this gift.

In my pursuit, I examined them. Examined, how they spoke, walked, acted. How did people perceive them? What were the common threads. After a lot of searching I found some. In fact I found 4. These people and every single person, who has ever influenced a generation, began a movement or lit a fire within humanity, grew there own RDF with these 4 things.

In the first instance they were absolutely committed, beyond their vision. What they imagined, was not an illusion. For some it was more real than actual reality. These people had a passion beyond words. After all, how can you encourage passion in others if you do not have it in yourself? This passion for what they believed is labelled as Conviction. Not a simple belief, we all have those. I mean an absolute unwavering conviction in what they wanted to achieve. To such an extent some were prepared to die for it, yes even Jobs. They had a desire and a determination which no one was going to shake. Regardless of external or internal pressures. There may be people reading this who want to achieve greatness but, would you risk your home, family or your life in pursuit of finding it? Anyone who grew and became a RDF did. Some paid a very big price. Ask yourself, how committed to your vision are you? Is it already a reality for you? Are you living it? An example of this on a smaller scale is, I wanted a promotion at work. My boss didn't seem to notice any of my efforts to make it happen, regardless of hours spent working harder. In spite of projects completed before time and with little or no need for amends. I was at a loss until my wife told me to 'Act as if.' Personally, I had no idea what she meant. She explained: "If you want the job act as if you already have it. Tell people you do that job." It made me think, I was always pretty honest, was it lying? I had doubts. But I tried. I failed. No one listened. In fact, Even I stopped listening. At my wits end my wife then asked if I deserved the job. If I genuinely thought I deserved the role? I told her "I already do it! I just do not get paid or recognised for it!" That sentence changed everything. Saying it out loud made it real, I was emotionally involved. I absolutely did deserve it and if my boss was not prepared to give it to me, I would take it regardless. I told everyone in every conversation of my new role. In one large team meeting, which included my boss I announced to them all my role and Job title. within 2 months I had my role. I had my pay rise. In fact, work wise, I have gone from strength to strength. To succeed in creating your own vision, you must have no doubts. Absolute conviction which no one will sway you from. Step 1 - Conviction

Steve Jobs believed he could inspire people to change the world
Gandhi believed in justice a harmony of faiths. Peace.
Mohammed Ali believed he was the best and always would be.

They were not always right, and not everyone went along with them. The truth is there will always be a wave of denialism in people. It is a part of human makeup. The majority though, did go along with them. With equal passion. Most people will have a vision but will have doubt and as I explained, you cannot grow a RDF with doubt. So, how does someone with only utter belief convince others of their vision? It needs more.

The second part of the puzzle step 2, is Courage: Changing someones beliefs and putting everything on the line for what you believe, takes an enormous amount of courage. Why? because you must be prepared to fail, to lose it all. Surely, it sounds contradictory to having absolute conviction? Let me explain: You must know you are going to succeed but be very aware you may fail, and you may lose... big. Knowing there is a possibility of failure does not mean doubt. It means it simply doesn't matter. It may happen, people may not agree, they may not like you. It is OK. People used to tell me it takes a lot of courage to stand after you fall. Nonsense. That takes tenacity, perseverance, determination. It takes courage, to allow yourself to fall.

After Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus in Montgomery USA, a civil rights movement was born. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People needed a spokesperson during the boycott of buses and Martin Luther King Jr was put forward to lead the cause. To stand in front of a town and in some respects a nation still entrenched in disparity and racism and say no. Not just no, but I believe, I have a dream and now you will too. He risked his reputation, his families life and his own. Courage does not come much higher. Incidentally, Martin Luther King JR was heavily influenced by Mahatma Gandhi. A true inspirational person is prepared to fall. They are prepared to lay themselves in front of all the attacks, negativity and potential failures and fall before anyone else. In fact, some may consider this one of the most important parts of a RDF as people can connect with someone taking a chance.

Gandhi stood against, violence, amongst other things and died for it
Martin Luther King Jr, amongst other things, stood against inequality and died for it
Malala Yousafzai stood up for the right to be educated beginning her quest at only 11 years old
Nelson Mandella stood against racial inequality and risked his life for it.

Every action the true inspiring leaders took, put something they treasured at risk. Their actions took courage. With conviction and courage you can begin to grow your RDF.

The third part of the process, Step 3, is confidence. The same as conviction right? No. Conviction is about belief in your ability to create your vision, being absolute in knowing you will succeed. Confidence is knowing you can. Imagine it like standing in front of a a large audience knowing you are about to speak. You know you can stand there, but will they listen? what if they do not believe you? Do I really know what I am talking about? All of this doubt will stand in the way of you portraying confidence. Sure, you can have a power stance and walk tall etc etc. Real confidence comes from within. The confidence in you and your own abilities. You need conviction in these too.

Confidence is a sought after trait in salespeople although most confuse it with arrogance. In this area I need to clarify, high confidence and arrogance are not the same thing at all. People who are confident, have no reason to be arrogant. Confident people, although they may seek affirmation from others, do not need it. In contrast, arrogant people will always measure their own success, at how much more they have than someone else. A confident person really doesn't care. They feel good about themselves and know other people will do whatever they do.

Tim David in Psychology today wrote a great article on the difference between confidence and arrogance and I agree totally.

The basic principle here is around how people see you. Often it is different to how we see ourselves. I'm sure no one would wish to put themselves in the segment labelled bully, or doormat, for instance. However, we can all look at the Boston Matrix and plot people we know or work alongside, pretty well. The Boston Matrix explains it best. In this section I will explain the segments and how they relate to each other. Although I would recommend you read Tim's article for a proper overview.

Over confident: People who are perceived to be extremely confident but have have no perceived deference and have high arrogance. These are perceived as, Over confident. Often characterised in work as having high ability levels but no real interpersonal skills. The danger for these people is, if they ever find themselves out of their depth alongside people who may know more, have more ability or, if a peer is thought of higher than them, they can quickly fall into the 2nd segment and be seen as a bully.

Bully: These people often act with little or no regard for others. High arrogance and low confidence. Often these people have a high sense of self esteem, which should not be confused with confidence. Self esteem is what you think about yourself, where Self confidence is what your think about your abilities. Remember, for bullies/arrogant people, success is measured by how much better, they are than someone else. People who are normally on the receiving end of this treatment, fall into the 3rd segment.

Doormat: A perceived lack of confidence in people who are always willing to do anything for anyone. These people can be heard saying things like 'I'm sick of always trying to help others when no one helps me', 'Why do I keep trying'. People from the other quadrants can be left thinking 'Stop letting people treat you like it then!' This quadrant is hard to move from and can only be actioned by the individual. While some will want to feed your opinions, there will always be those who want to help build your confidence. These are generally the people in the 4th segment.

Leader/Servant: This is the segment needed to grow your RDF. Your confidence, in you, your abilities and your vision must be at its highest. People in this segment are very often seen as 'People people.' Envied by the other 3 segments because it seems effortless for them. The truth is, with high confidence things will always appear to take less effort. Because, these people are not trying to impress anyone else, they are doing their own thing for them and their passions. Less focus is placed on what others may think about how they achieve their goals and more effort is given to actually achieving their goals. However, they do not do it at the expense of others, they do it with respect of other people. Considerate of other peoples thoughts, feelings and concerns. These people have a high sense of respect for themselves and other people and treat everyone with fairness.

Fairness however, is not always what people think is right or just. We cannot confuse right or just with fairness. Fairness is unbiased and well... fair. i.e right and just are objective. They are based on facts and not emotion. Fairness is subjective. Based on opinions, feelings.

Bringing us to Step 4: The thing which was most obvious about all the people when you really looked at their work. Step 4: Humility

Humility, not a word I am sure you would immediately position against a powerful business man like Steve Jobs. However, in one of his key notes speeches of the late 90's Jobs referred to his products and said 'We make great products, better than most, in some cases.' He didn't need to say we are the best, he didn't need you to believe they were the best. Other people made great products too and he knew this. He wasn't interested in saying how good or bad they were. He only wanted you to see these products could, maybe, be better. Was he determined, ruthless? Yes. Did he care? Yes, Was he arrogant? Some would say so, but I would argue those who thought so, likely lacked the same drive or ability. So, saw in him, what they saw in themselves. Perhaps I am unfair to Steve, as the majority of his influence was down to the success of those around him. But were any of the others so different? Would Martin Luther King JR call someone out for being anti his belief, absolutely.

Did Gandhi, the man of peace, say we should fight? Yes.

"Where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence."

This is not about upsetting people and being disrespectful. Gandhi, wanted people to fight for themselves, their reasons, their freedoms. His vision though. Martin Luther King Jr, wanted people to unite, to change the world, to make a better tomorrow for everyone. His vision though. Steve jobs wanted people to work hard, change the world, change what people thought was possible. His vision though. While all were prepared to argue, debate and fight for their vision, each one had the humility to say, and to fully understand, not everyone will believe them, not everyone will want to follow and it is OK. People may disagree with your vision, let them. People may fight your passion, it is OK. Be confident in yourself and vision. Do what is right for you but not with spite or at the detriment of others. All of the people I have mentioned demonstrated humility, because it was never about them. Only their vision. With them, without them, their vision was the priority. It is the reason they fought so hard for it. It is why they would risk it all, it is why they were willing to stand and try. The vision, not the person, is all that mattered.

Most 'How to become successful' books you read, from entrepreneurs or self help gurus will start with, decide what you want. Who do you want to be? The method is flawed. It is flawed because it has a greater potential to breed arrogance and not compassion or deference. It is inward looking not outward. Decide instead, what can you offer? What could you do? Almost all successful businesses when analysed, the founders have said, they did not do it to make money. There were just trying to do x, to change y. It almost always starts with an offer or will to make something possible for others. Their success and money is a bi-product. Your vision or intent must benefit everyone. It is why you cannot simply create a RDF from nowhere, you must grow it from an honest start point. You are asking people to buy into you. Your passion and your emotion. This emotion has to be honest and sincere or you will fail in being a leader or an influencer of people. In one of the few cases getting this right, is doing what is fair and Just. After all, being selfish is never fair, nor is being selfless. Your vision or intent must always be mutually beneficial.

Owners of a RDF will always balance their own acknowledgement of accomplishments, opinions and accolades with how this could affect others. Will it help others achieve too or will it make them feel bad about themselves? The people in this segment will almost always have the highest levels of Emotional intelligence.

What does this tell us? Having a RDF alone is no good if you are unable to bring people into it. You must be able to connect with people emotionally. It is critical you know how to read emotions and talk to them. Emotive language is essential in motivating people and speaks directly to the limbic system. While the limbic system has no concept of language certain words, when we hear them, we feel them. Certain actions, when seen, will be emulated. To truly grow your RDF you need to learn how to speak with emotion, act with intent and inspire with clarity of your vision. Consider, Nelson Mandela's speech from the dock and the emotional language he uses:

“During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people . I have fought against white domination , and I have fought against black domination . I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve . But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die .

Speaking with emotion is an art form which must be achieved and practiced to bring people into your RDF, it is essential they take your vision with them and make it theirs. Your language must motivate and move people. Songs are great examples of this, how often have you heard people say "this feels like it was written about my life" "That song means so much to me"? People cannot often explain why they feel this way and that is OK. It is not about explaining it, just know it, feel it. For those who do not have a way with words, you can make the same connection using humility. An emotional action which allows people to see who they are really relating too and not simply what. Ideas, products and suggestions come and go but people, make an impact on our lives. Each one of the greats of our time and times past, connected through displaying humility and showing people they simply wanted to help make things better. What is the impact you will make?

Step 1 Conviction - An absolute unwavering belief in a vision.

Step 2 Courage - Willingness to put everything on the line for your vision.

Step 3 Confidence - Knowing you are able to achieve your vision.

Step 4 Humility - Being sincere in your words and actions.

The purpose of writing this article was in the hope people would search for success and ways to achieve it. After reading the article, they could see how others achieved greatness and in the same achievement, moved the world forward. A philosophy I aim to continue to with me.

As my wife says, all people are capable of greatness. It simply needs unlocking.

John McClean
Thanks for reading, if you have any questions please email me at cleany77@gmail.com