HOW TO TALK CORRECTLY
All different rules are the same!
Below are a few ideas from the book by Nick Morgan and the ideas of Daria Turanova (Link to source).
1. Pay attention to the “emotional temperature” in the group.
“At the very beginning of the conversation, send the emoticons to the interlocutors, the meaning of which you agreed in advance to show in what condition you are entering into the conversation,” Morgan suggests. This will allow you to assess the emotional climate in the group and improve understanding of the words and actions of the interlocutors.
2. Express yourself clearly.
“Make an effort to be as sincere and transparent as possible on an emotional level - precisely because online conversation is initially devoid of this emotional component. You will need a clearer personal understanding of what your intentions, expectations and requirements are. ”
3. Assign a moderator for regular meetings.
“A group cannot exist to function on its own in the absence of a virtual equivalent of body language. We need someone who will be responsible for ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to speak out and that everyone is involved in the group process. ”
4. The conversation should be of adequate duration.
“Have you turned off the sound during a conference call to check Facebook? Why then do you continue to organize calls an hour long, and even expect that people will remain concentrated? ” And, since this is already discussed, do you like cooking, messing around in the garden, watching TV, or playing the trombone as loud as possible? Or do you have another favorite activity to kill while the conference call is muted? If so, then it's time to rethink your habits.
5. Sometimes discuss topics that are not related to work.
Working in the office with colleagues often involves joint lunches and other informal communication. If you are connected only virtually, there is no possibility of such interaction. Think of other ways to establish emotional relationships with each other that are not related to work - write down a birthday greetings or order a surprise lunch for a colleague at home.
6. Each has its own role.
Let each interlocutor have the opportunity to lead, train and be an expert for the rest of the team. Let everyone have a chance to be in the center of attention, to be involved in the process - and you will see how the connections in the group become stronger and stronger. ” Role allocation and reallocation is a great way to make interaction more effective.
7. A conversation (in no format) should last longer than 10 minutes without a break.
A conversation without interruption is like an endless email, and there will definitely come a moment when the interlocutors “disconnect”. A break will allow everyone to re-concentrate. Change the rhythm to regain attention.
8. Never send a “letter of happiness” at the last moment.
You know what Morgan means, right? We are talking about the very letters that arrive 10 minutes before the meeting, and you are happy to see the checklist of 37 points, which should be completed by the time the conversation starts. "Very cool!" - You will not get such a reaction from anyone. “Everyone understands that you are not at all interested in the opinions and views of the interlocutors,” Morgan emphasizes. Instead of such surprises, it’s better to give your colleagues a reasonable task so that they can prepare for the next meeting.
I want to add some personal ideas that I try to use myself:
1. When you need to make a decision, remove the primary emotions.
Suppose there is a difficult question that is still not clear how to solve. He bothers you and torments you. Do not know how to approach him. You write in a working chat: “Ahhh, it's just a nightmare. Then this happened. Generally, …". In this case, you take off responsibility and a wave of tension from yourself.
And it often happens that after such a message is sent, the tension goes away with the release of emotions. Practical solutions come, sometimes even in the process of writing a message. Try sending this nervous message to your own, for example. Once it becomes easier, formulate a constructive proposal for the team.
2. Count to 10 before answering (at least)
Messengers mean fast communication. It constantly seems that we all have to right this very second: to answer whether we go to the bar on the weekend with friends, husband / wife - whether we pick up the child from the garden, whether we can finish the analytics by Wednesday, resolve some situation and delve into the discussion, answer questions from contractors, etc. RETURN TO THE HOMEPAGE