Women are attracted to men that have goals and are actively pursuing them.
Masculine energy is directional energy. Like a boulder rolling down a hill, the single-focus energy that penetrates through resistance in pursuit of achieving an end result is very attractive to women.
But drive isn’t always enough on its own. Ideally you’ll be driven in something that you’re passionate about.
High quality women are infinitely more attracted to a man who is dripping with passion about his work as an artist (despite making under $30,000/year) compared to a man who reluctantly went into law to please his parents and is so unenthusiastic about his work that he uses self-deprecating and dismissive language every time you try and talk to him about it.
As much as most men resist this idea, when it comes to attracting a high value woman of character, drive beats dollars every time.
Every person wants to feel deeply seen and understood by someone in their lives… but few people want to take the time to explain or reveal themselves.
When it comes to deeply connecting with a woman on an emotional level, your presence will always mean more than any presents ever could.
By being fully present with women (through eye contact, listening, and prioritizing distraction-free conversations) you give them the sense of feeling seen.
Everyone (male or female) wants to feel deeply seen and appreciated. The first step in giving women this feeling is in developing your personal presence.
Want a less new-agey term than presence?
What percentage of your attention are you giving the woman you’re speaking to moment to moment? Is the answer anything but 100%? Then you aren’t being fully present with her.
Turn off the TV, put down your cell phone, face her directly, give direct eye contact, and truly hear the words that she is telling you. That kind of laser beam focus of attention makes women weak in the knees.
I once polled a few hundred women to ask them “What is the most important non-physical trait that attracts you to a guy?”
The top answer? A sense of humour.
Life is serious enough as it is. No wonder women value the lightness and playfulness that a partner with a sense of humour brings to their lives.
Besides, if Cyndi Lauper is a credible source (has she lied to you yet?!), girls just wanna have fun.
Predictability is death to attraction.
If she can predict your every word, move, or sexual escalation to the T, then you might need to inject some spontaneity into your life.
Whether that takes the form of taking her out for a new and unique date, surprising her with her favourite beverage, or bringing her flowers just because, spontaneity brings back some passion and life to your interactions with your partner.
Someone Who Is Intentional About Life
Intentionality is the practice of questioning everything in your life and building the kind of life that you want to be living.
It’s easy to be broke. It’s easy to be out of shape. It’s easy to have relationships that go nowhere and leave you both feeling unfulfilled.
What’s comparatively difficult is to be wealthy, in great shape, and have a relationship that others admire. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t doable (in fact, I have over a dozen clients at this current moment who have mastered all three of these areas simultaneously).
Part of intentionality is not just striving towards the things you want to add to your life, but also shining a proverbial flashlight into the darkest corners of your mental attic and asking yourself if you want to keep all of the old junk and baggage that you’ve accumulated.
I have brilliant men in my social circle (some are clients, some aren’t) who, through their lifetime, have seen specific coaches for their physical fitness and their business growth, therapists for their emotional issues, and sex and relationship coaches for their love lives. No stone gets left unturned.
They look at their own baggage with honesty and they have no qualms about breaking their way through their own perceived barriers.
Contrast those men with most guys who tend to float through life and just go with the flow and it’s no wonder that women would be significantly more attracted to an intentional man.
It’s no secret that women are often attracted to men who display the ability to lead others.
On the primal evolutionary level of attraction everyone is somewhat attracted to those that they perceive to be of higher social value than others. But there’s a huge difference in someone who is a power-hungry jackass as opposed to a person who is a loving and patient inspiration of a man.
Don’t be proud of your ability to throw your weight around at the office. Dominating your employees isn’t attractive. Instead, lead with social intelligence, kindness, and by displaying the kind of values that people want to align with.
The overt musculature of man that held status thousands of years ago in ancient tribes is outdated. What leads others now is not biceps layered on top of your biceps… it is the power and emotional intelligence that come from the strength of your mind.