Дневник с Крузенштерна, год 2002-2003. Часть семнадцатая.
29.10.2002 Вторник 21.24 Good evening, My Precious Koshka. I just red your long last message via e-mail to Gdynja and one more strong made sure I would could not find somebody better then you. I awfully happy now and have a lot of power and nice mood. "You are most desired, you are most dear..."* - there are words from song of SPLIN - it is playing now (russian band, you have it on the CD-R). And most often I have been writing lines of diary with music of 'Coldplay' (album 'Parachute') and Splin. I think, it means nothing, but it is music of all those lines. Today was very-very short. I didn't have time to wink once, and there is dark already. (To tell say the truth, I had time three times to wing at morning and two times at evening. And some later I'll wink one more time for long time - till morning.) Today's time for tea was very nice for me - buckwheat porridge with milk (it's one of my favorite food) and big bunch of grapes. After it and sportroom I feel myself sooooo good. And some more I had some sun burn and studied Dutch simultaneously in one hour after dinner. And till dinner I tidied up in my room. I got your message and would want to make full your bed by myself in your home and your life. In short it is good start of ahead 23 days. My Love, I love you as deeply as bird loves to fly, as dolphin loves to tear at full speed in waves. And as dolphin needs to swim and as bird needs to fly as I need to love you. Family with love and children is my most big dream. We can do it. That's good! I love you, Ira! In Canary Islands I bought two nice tea-cups and two nice tea-spoons. Now we can drink tea by two nice cups together. It would be very nicely.
23.30 That's so good, I don't want to go in my bed. And I'm remembering all our evenings outside on Kruzenshtern, till Brest and after.... I barely wont to hug you and delight in time together. I love you so deeply....
* Ты самый желанный, ты самый любимый... (Тебе это снится).
31.10 .2002 Четверг
06.49 goort moorgin. Ira? Rhkeu stop. I'm ok right nowl;ojkm, barely (oh, what so different (oh, one more else) word) I don't awake, don't take a shower, but I'm already writing you. OK, I'm in full order now. Every day I wake up about 0630, but don't get up like today, and lie still before 0715. And I thought - why not. In a future we must to change ships time one hour straight (in Germany) and one hour straight till Russia again. I'll be need to get up more earlier anyway. Oh, time for shower and shaving. Ok. Ira I love you soooooo much! It remained only to wait some days...
11.20 We drift not far from Madeira Islands. It's like Canary Islands, but not so big and those islands are Portuguese. Water is like mirror. I could not send message to you at morning, but I'll do it after dinner. Time runs like rabbit - from awakening till dinner -first jump, from dinner till tea-time - second jump, from tea-time till supper - third jump and from supper till awakening - last jump. And that's every day. Day passed - rabbit ran away.
22.27 You see, day is finished. 14 lines ago was early morning, and right now is late evening. One rabbit less. I try to do not think about 21 or 20 days, or 19 already, but those digits are everywhere.
Today I went in for sport and looked in mirror - I want to hug myself by your hands. Sometimes I think, what I have inclination to admire myself. But I looking on me by your eyes. Oh, it is so small and unimportant items.... But I miss your ....
I got message from Brigitte as answer after my e-mail. It is very nice. I like her, but I don't understand Jenia and I don't like him concerning relation with Brigitte. When I think about it, my mood has become worse. But when I think about Brigitte without Jenia, barely about Brigitte, her work (like today - about championship of break-dance), I feel myself more better. Right now I feel some loneliness, because if you will be on Kruzenshtern you would come in radioroom especially to me, and nobody comes now. And your very nice messages comes here, today's for example - I translated and was very glad and happy (nobody never kiss/love me like you - Oh, Ira).I loveyouloveyouloveyou. OK, what is happened today. I got two your messages (so nice) and one from Brigitte. I sow swimming not great turtle (or rather - part of shell over water and head sometime), Madeira island and some nearby islands. I got two 'solnca'* in time of tea. In radioroom fetched new blinds, it is green and to much coarse, I don't like it. Present blinds I like more. I transmitted some cables and received some it, studied Dutch after dinner, was two times in shower and two or three times in toilette, but it is not so interesting, I guess. I will go to breathe fresh air and go to my bed. Wel te rusten**, My Precious Koshka.. Kiss you
* апельсина ** Спокойной ночи - голл.
01.11.2002 Пятница
22.34 I'm just finished my work. I had telephone conversation with Kaliningrad for one cadet, send some cables and received your message (I waited it). I'll translate it in my bed till sleep. And today was like all last days, the same. I do something all time and day pass very fast. I have good appetite and eat so much. I need a lot of energy. Now we can receive some news/information from Kaliningrad by our superreceiver. It is survey of Kaliningrad's newspapers for all ships.
Kruzenshtern in sunny day (and all last days were sunny) became botanical garden. Some members and cadets took different exotic plants from Canary Isl. There are cactuses, little palm-tree, something like burdocks an more else. I took only volcanic stones and cones of canary pine-tree, because I'm Mishka. There is from russian very famous song for children - 'Pigeon-toed (in-toed, clumsy) Mishka go by forest, he gather cones and sing the song....'.
May be you want to know what I have in store for you? My first and important present for you is ring as symbol of my love for my future bride. I both it in Armenime to which I (ride in past) by bus and bicycle especially for it. You know about it. But I worry very much about size and the rest.... about process of handing to you and.... You know too much about it! You'll see, I'll device something.
Tomorrow I'll tell you something else about it, and now ... I love you so much and I miss you more badly with every next day. Ira.... My Beloved Ira...
02.11.2002 Суббота (I remember how you say it)
21.37 Oh, Ira! I'm just received your mail, you work too much. I need to be with you so much. I want to be next you. If you'll be have tiredness, I'll make for you massage and coffee and al the rest. I want to do it. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
Today I'm tired too, because yesterday I went to bed so late - I really looked to stars and thought about our joint life - it is very nice to do homework together.
I saw dolphins today and it was not so far. Dolphins jumped and frisked near the board of ship. I took some video and you'll see. Little rain went off after dinner and I studied Dutch in radioroom. I organized telephone conversation for Vlad (carpenter) and Arunas -they got urgency cables from home and worried so much. I worried too with them. But everything was good and I was glad with them too. Tomorrow I'll send 400th cable in this voyage. There are all my news.
It is not news, but I miss you very and so much, My Love. I don't want to work at see so long like now, because I met you, I know you and I love you ultimately!!! I'm going to sleep for fast arrival of tomorrow. I love you.
03.11.2002 Воскресенье
22.15 All my days are the same now. My watch is my first enemy - it go so slowly. I think everybody on Kruzenshtern feels approach of end of the voyage and counts the days and hours. I found glad in menu - in the next week every day has a nice food for me. Oh, what the difficult waiting! I want to use bad language;-))) Two with half weeks - I count too. I have no patience. I dream about our time in Bremerhafen. To dream is more better than to wait.
Today I send 400th cable of the voyage. A cadet got two sweet buns from me. It was little event in my today's life. Wel te rusten, Lievde van mij*. I can express how strong I miss you, but you know. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Спокойной ночи, моя Любовь - голл.
04.11.2002 Понедельник
23.30 Oh, Ira!.. I got today message from you and when I translated it, tears began to flow. I red your lines and could not believe it. People can't feel each other like you feel me or.... Or I didn't know about it. I don't know how to explain it. Yesterday I got cable for a cadet from his girlfriend. This boy is very nice, and they correspond with each other almost every day. Their messages are warmth and full of love. She got message from him and wrote: I walked on dry leaves and cried with happiness. I love you'. I wrote verses formerly and my best verses was write in result of nervous shock or something like this. My favorite poet is Anna Akchmatova and her poetry is not about happiness. But it is best poetry what I know. When I was alone, lonely, unhappy and all those together, her verses helps me. I don't read book of her now, though it stay on the shelf in my cabin. Sometimes I want to write and I write one or two lines, but I forget it in next day. I'm happy! But today.... I think, deep misfortune and deep happiness have something the same. Tears, for example... Today tears floated on my face with deeeeeeep hapiness. And I didn't laugh, I was like in shock, because I understood so deep happiness, which I didn't feel before. And it is by you, Ira, by you. I love you so much. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU IRA. How strong it is.... So strong....
05.11.2002 Вторник
17.59 I went to bed yesterday so happy and awaked up today's morning with so inexpressible feeling and I have it into me all day. Nothing around me can make me less happy. And a lot of power...
Today morning I took picture from grot-rhea of first main mast when all sailors assemble before work for conversation with chief mate. I was straight over them. Weather was foggy and moistly but I remained so pleased. Now we drift about 200 miles from Portuguese coast, because so bad weather is in Biskay bay and English Channel. And I'm very very happy!
Утреннее совещание палубной команды со старпомом.
Матюгальничек.
Мачта, реи, ванты, штаги, шкоты....
Бочка для сжигания бумажного мусора за кормой.
