Дневник с Крузенштерна, год 2002-2003. Часть восемнадцатая.

06.11.2002 Среда16.11 Kruzenshtern starts motion to Bremerhafen. I'm in jeans and sweater - no very cold, but I need more warmth then gave me shorts and t-short till today. And I'm moving to you. Tomorrow will be 4 month since then we met in Wilhelmshafen and looked the firework together. Yesterday I red about this day in my diary. In that day I found free I-net-cafe and everything was nice, but at evening my mood increased till zero, and when Brigitte invited me to look with her and you (I didn't know then what you is My Precious Koshka) the firework I was in no good order. Quotation: "And at evening me with Ira and Brigitte looked a firework and even told just a little bit in English and even joked just a little bit. It encouraged me."
Next note about you - "I didn't sleep all night etc...." Then - "I better and better speak in English, with Ira anyhow. Yes, I more better speak with Ira in English". Next follows big gap in time, and then - "If I would talk about everything, what is happened in Brest, I never lie down to sleep". Four month only or four long month? Four month like a whole life. How strong I love you...

07.11.2010 Четверг

22.10 Yesterday I got 3 messages from Brigitte - for Yura, Jenia and me. Communication with radio center was very bad and I received it so long. Than I went to Jenia's room, distributed messages (Yura, Jenia and Misha, of course, cook Pasha and one girl - head of practice of cadets were there).... You know, they spend the time very tediously - playing cards and play with dice (two bricks) and vodka. I proposed to play in a game when one person shows something without words, and the rest people must guess, what he shows. We laughed a lot and everything would be nice, if nobody smokes in a cabin. I went to bed at 2.30 and translated your message else. Today is four month from our meeting, you know. And I will miss you 12 or 13 days else. The nearer you are, the heavier to wait. I want nothing only to see you.
My today passed with cadets, who I trained to work in radio telex - from 10.30 till 20.45. Sky was blue, sea was calm. Expectation settled on the ship. I need some sports. Last three days I was not in sport room. My mood depends on motion, if only you are far from me.

08.11.2002 Пятница

21.22 Dear Ira, I just have translated your today's message about your condition - you are fine girl, I love you. And I just was in need of 32549340869858239483457 your kisses, but I got one kiss more - 32549340869858239483458 your kisses, and that last your kiss was magic - I inspired after 3 days of despondent. 4 hours ago I went in sport room and spent much old energy for new energy. Right now next 11 days seems not so long – I’m in good order, because affected your last kiss.
We started to go to Bremerhafen by sails, because wind is so good. Speed is 6 knots. But a lot of sails are cut off*. Yesterday I wanted to go to bed some early, but my roommate and cook was so drank and they made a noise in my cabin like two fighting men (I don't know what they did, I tried to sleep and didn't see). Now it seems funny for me, but yesterday I felt me so bad, because morning seemed very distant. And today I painted support for satellite antennas on radio room and was so happy. Now I'm happy more else. I don't know, how present to you my very important surprise - silver ring. But I will devise something.

* Каждую осень паруса срезают на зиму и каждую весну закрепляют снова на реях.

10.11.2002 Воскресенье

16.38 May be, some cadets call it storm, because waves are big and Kruzenshtern is tossing, but for us - old salts (sea wolfs) - it is usually!:-)
And yesterday, when I got your mail I couldn't keep silence. More that, I tried to call you by radiotelephone (communication was so good), but it was without success. I'm remembering a case with postcards with red rose and recent coincidence our thoughts about poetry and happiness - it give a lot of warmth for me.

14.11.2002 Четверг

From evening of Sunday till this moment heavy gale tests us. In Biscay bay were huge waves and strong rolling (from port side to starboard side). I could not sleep two nights -all night I set against the wall or feet or head. In radio room all unsecured things was found on the floor, and I in the most crucial moment held by two hands telephone and fax and by one’s foot held printer and computers. Yesterday and today there is very strong wind, nobody on the deck. I'm in good order, but two days ago I lost birthday present from my mother - a pen 'Parker'. It vanished from radio room in strange circumstances. I conducted a search of radio room three times, but without success. But it was two days ago.
All those last days I did something: made present for you and painted support for satellite antennas on radio room, studied Dutch (of course) and red the Russian book, drank little red wine on the birthday of one's motorman (I didn't like it) and looked football games, tried to sleep at day and night (with variable success). I have a lot of thoughts, planes, variants of life's way after getting your mail about information of work. I'm ready to change my life right now, I need only talk with you.
15.14 I see France! We are approaching to Dovre Strait. I'll be very near to you soon. And just a little bit longer we'll be pass place of memory of Red Rose of Love. Quite unexpected places stand by close for my heart. Yesterday I saw on the map your town - Breda - and was so glad all evening. But formerly I never thought about Breda, about Netherlands, about Dovre Strait as very close places.

16.11.2002 Суббота

20.11 I’m fine. And I love you. Yesterday I made New Year's present for you all day. I couldn't stop my fancy and finished a present. It is not completed. Then I was in sport room, and after supper I was busy with cables.
In Santa-Cruz I bought 6 candles. I thought: would be better, if light of couple candles will be light up for us at night - thus will be more romantic (simple man's thought). But candles need candlesticks, and all candlesticks in Spain (may be - in the world) was not suitable for me. I thought, what I can make candlesticks myself. And today I went to carpenter Vlad and started to do it. If I will realize my idea of candlesticks in wood, it wil be perfect, Ok, telephone conversation is finished, I can continue my business in carpenter room. Thank you for your attention.

17.11.2002 Воскресенье

22.12 Good evening, My Sweet Ira. Everything my ideas was a success. I could not make two same candlesticks, therefore I made two different candlesticks (it is logically ;-)). First c-k like women, second c-k like man. It can symbolize anything, but all what I told you about it, I invented, sorry. Firstly, because I made, what I could, and secondly, there are barely candlesticks. But I made it especially for you.
Now my life, it seems, consist only losses. My pen is disappeared (in last word I made 4 errors, oops! (dessapired)), one of my favorite CD is disappeared too (no errors), and today I opened box with one film and, may be, it is spoiled. I don't know where I take power for normal live. Today before supper sport made me more better. I feel nice tiredness in my body now and imagine, how you will be hug me. With this nice dream I finish my day.

19.11.2002 Вторник

00.09 This is magic word - tomorrow.
Today I washed all my things and was in sport room and made for you video cassette with all my records, and only two words was in my head - after tomorrow, after tomorrow... My roommate said “I don't know where I can sleep', therefore we'll be sleep in Brigitte house. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will go to sleep, then tomorrow will come so fast.

Приближается непогода. А может, уходит.