Stop Your Worries: A Practical Guide to Calming Your Mind

In the midst of the fast-paced news cycle, it’s easy to feel a bit caught up in the worry of it all. That’s natural, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. Whether it’s something in the headlines or just the day-to-day stuff that has you concerned, we’re here to offer a helping hand.

We’ve crafted a simple guide to navigate these choppy waters. It’s free and filled with tips and exercises that could be just what you’re looking for to ease those anxious thoughts.

Give it a read, try out some exercises, and remember, it’s perfectly okay to need a bit of guidance now and then. We all do. And as we navigate this together, let's keep kindness and care for ourselves and others at the forefront.

Isn't it something how we can think ahead to what’s coming up? That skill lets us dodge problems and make plans. Like when we wash our hands or keep a little space in a crowd, we’re using our ‘think-ahead’ superpower for good, keeping troubles like the common cold or flu at bay.

But then there’s worry. It’s like that think-ahead skill, only it's wearing a gloomy hat. Worry can sneak up and make us feel tense, filling our heads with the not-so-great ‘what ifs’. It’s pretty common to find ourselves imagining the big, scary things that could happen from something tiny. (We've all been there, right?)

Ever felt like your worries are a bit like dominoes? One tips over, and the rest just follow in a flurry. It's common for us to end up thinking about the worst that could happen, even from a small worry. This kind of thinking can speed up quickly. They start small but somehow end up at a wild, exaggerated ending. Before you know it, that little worry has snowballed into a big big problem in your head. Have you ever found your worries growing like this? You're not alone – we've been there, too!

It’s important to remember that worry doesn’t only live in our thoughts—it can wiggle its way into our bodies too. When worry grows too big, it can show up as anxiety that we can actually feel. Some ways it might show up include:

• Your muscles might feel tight or you might notice some aches.
• You might find it hard to sit still or feel relaxed.
• It could get tough to focus on tasks.
• Sleeping might become a bit of a battle.
• You may get tired more easily than usual.

Recognizing these signs can be the first step in addressing them.

Worry can sneak up on us at any time. Even when everything’s going well, a little voice might whisper, “But what if something goes wrong?” Some things make us worry more than others, especially when they’re:

• Hard to figure out – when things can mean a lot of different stuff.
• Brand new – so they’re not like anything we’ve dealt with before.
• Unpredictable – when we can’t guess what’s going to happen next.

Sound like something you’ve felt lately? With the health news we're hearing these days, it’s pretty common to feel worry ticking up. It’s a strange time with lots of questions in the air, and it’s natural for that to make us feel a bit uneasy.

Worry can be useful or not so much. Psychologists tell us that there are two main types of worries: about 'real problems' and 'what-ifs'.

• Real problem worries are about actual issues that need attention right away. Say you left your wallet at a café. The worry nudges you to call them or go back and check.
• What-if worries are the ones where we imagine the worst, like a scene from a disaster movie. For instance, you notice your boss didn't smile at you today and start thinking, "What if I'm about to be fired? What if I can't find another job and run out of money?" These worries paint a scary future based on small, possibly insignificant details.

We all worry at times, and that’s perfectly normal. Planning ahead can actually be quite helpful. But there isn’t a one-size-fits-all amount of worry that’s 'just right'. The problem starts when worry becomes so big that it stops you from enjoying your everyday life and chasing your dreams.

Normal Worry — This is the kind that nudges us into action. It's useful. It gets us to double-check our work, prompts us to study for that test, or reminds us to lock our doors.

Excessive Worry — When worry starts to overwhelm and drain us, leaving us feeling defeated or constantly on edge, it's no longer serving a useful purpose. It can create a barrier to the life we aspire to lead, making mountains out of molehills.

Worrying a bit is normal, especially these days. But when it feels like too much, and it's getting in the way of your sleep or happiness, it’s time to try some new strategies to take care of your well-being. Our guide includes easy-to-use handouts, exercises, and worksheets to help you keep worry in check. Here’s what you can do:

• Find a balance in life. It’s healthy to have a mix of activities that make you happy, help you achieve things, and bring you close to others. Below the article you'll find tips and ideas to help you find activities that can distract you and keep you active. Even if you're staying at home more, remember to connect with friends and family online or over the phone.
• Decide if your worry is about real problems or just 'what-ifs'. Use the "Worry Decision Tree" to figure out if your worries are about real issues or just unlikely scenarios. If you're tangled up in 'what-ifs', the tree can help you put those worries aside for a while.
• Learn to delay your worry. Believe it or not, you can actually schedule your worry. Pick a time to think about your concerns, and spend the rest of your day worry-free. The "Worry Postponement" exercise will show you how.
• Be Your Own Best Friend. Worry often shows we care about others, but we need to care for ourselves too. Write down your worries and respond to them with kindness, as if you were talking to a friend. The "Challenge Your Thoughts Compassionately" worksheet is a great place to start.
• Practice being in the moment. Mindfulness can help you let go of worry and focus on now. Simple things like paying attention to your breathing or listening to the sounds around you can ground you in the present.

It’s important to create a balance that keeps us feeling good. We can do this by making time for things that:

• you can do just for pleasure
• bring you sense of achievement
• help you feel close and connected with others

Pleasure. If you're feeling anxious or if joy seems a bit out of reach, remember to do little things that brighten your day. It could be as simple as enjoying a favorite song, losing yourself in a good book, or laughing at a funny movie.

Achievement. It’s also rewarding to accomplish tasks. Set a goal to do something productive each day, whether it's tidying up, planting some flowers, trying out a new recipe, or sorting out your bills.

Closeness/Connection. Staying connected is key. If you can't be with others in person, find ways to be together online. Host a digital hangout, join a virtual book club, or simply catch up over the phone.

A balance between joy, achievement, and connections can lift our spirits. If you spend all your time on tasks and forget to have fun or chat with friends, you might start feeling low. So, mix it up!

Each day, take a moment to reflect: Did I laugh today? Did I finish something important? Did I feel close to someone I care about? If something’s missing, think about what you can try differently tomorrow.

Psychologists think worries come in two types:

1) Real worries that are actual problems we need to solve right now.

Examples: "I've got a meeting tomorrow and haven't prepared my presentation yet. I have to start preparing!", "I can’t afford to pay this electricity bill" , "These relations are not really good for me"

2) 'What-if' worries about things that don't exist but that might happen in the future.

Examples: "What if I never find a job I enjoy?", "What if my loved ones die?", "What if making a mistake at work means I'll be fired?"

For many, worries can feel overwhelming and never-ending. However, setting aside a specific time each day to focus on these worries can help manage them better. Try these steps for at least a week:

Step 1: Plan Your Worry Time

Decide when you will worry and for how long:

• Schedule a daily 'worry time' for thinking about your concerns.
• Pick a time when you're most likely to be calm and won't be interrupted.
• If you are unsure, a good time to start is maybe 15 to 30 minutes each evening.

Step 2. Delay Your Worry Throughout the day, when worries come to mind, ask yourself if it's a real problem you can act on now. If it is, take action. If it's a 'what-if', put it off until your worry time. Keep yourself in the present moment until then.

Step 3: Worry Time When it’s time to worry, think about the worries you've postponed. Write them down if it helps. Decide if they're really worth worrying about.

Ask yourself:

• Are these worries still important to you?
• Have your feelings about them changed since they first appeared?
• Can you turn any of these worries into a problem you can actually solve now? If not, can you let them go for now?

• Stick to a Routine. More time at home? Keep things predictable with a regular schedule. Set your alarm, have meals at the usual times, and change out of those pajamas to set the tone for the day. A little structure goes a long way.
• Keep Your Brain and Body Moving. Fill your day with activities that stretch your mind and flex your muscles. Dive into an online course, pick up a new language, or even get your heart rate up with a dance workout in your living room.
• Remember to be Thankful. Gratitude can shine a light on the good stuff, even on the gloomy days. Each night, think of a few things that made you smile. Writing them down or sharing them can turn gratitude into a habit that lifts everyone's spirits.
• Know Your Worry Triggers. If the news is making you anxious, give yourself permission to take breaks from it. Decide on specific times to catch up on updates, and then put it aside.
• Choose Trustworthy News. Make sure you're getting your updates from sources that know their stuff. Be careful to choose reputable sources. But don't don't start reading too much of them to the point of doomscrolling even if they are trustworthy.

Remember, even amidst chaos, the power to stay calm lies within you.