Once you understand that you lost something important, that you not able to get things back, that everything is your own fault, you understand your own weakness and misery. Your crown falls. Is it fallen? Or it’s an illusion again? You want to see reality as it is. Full of Pain and emptiness, suffering and imperfections, darkness and uselessness of every action at the end, because everything is just an impermanence. You see it in this world now? Or you see it inside yourself. It’s doesn’t matter. Once you saw it it’s became so hard to unsee. It’s hard but not impossible. You should accept and stop reacting, you know it well but something in you not let you do it easily. Why have resistance, why you trying hard to stay down and see only...